Why do people want to swim with dolphins? The equivalent would be an Indonesian fellow coming over here, going up to a… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
The way we live in the West we live like kings. People moan about this and that in Britain but we have… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
At yoga you get some sense of spiritual space so that people don't intrude. You can go there and close your eyes… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
When you're a birder, you have all sorts of reference books, and you know about migratory patterns and technical stuff. Most people… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
Doing comedy around the world is a way of finding out how people tick. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
In 1994 I was doing a two-hander with Sean Lock in Edinburgh and there were more people in the cast than the… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
It's been Bill for so long people think my name is William, but it's not, it's Mark. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
I spent my childhood scrambling round badgers and foxes and playing fantastic country kid games like knocking on people's doors and running… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
I've always been envious of certainty, of people who always seemed to have a plan for their lives. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
I tried to like it. For me, it was like being smacked around the head by a piece of IKEA furniture: it hurts, but… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be exploitative. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
I did a show in this tiny town called Longyearbyen. We went snowmobiling around Svalbard and saw Arctic foxes, snow bunting, polar bear footprints… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
I hate getting ill, it irritates me so I try to stay reasonably healthy. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
There is something very poignant about plastic bags. These lonely plastic bags that gradually disintegrate. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
At college, I felt frustrated thinking three years was a long time and I just wanted a job but afterwards I was in employment… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
I am pretty laid-back as a parent, but I do like a lot of activity. So I am constantly suggesting things to do that… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
I don't think any comic could say there isn't a bit of them that doesn't want to show off. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!! — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
