Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
Stupid National Anthem... Look at this flag; Two bears fighting over a pineapple. What kind of message does that send to the… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
The way we live in the West we live like kings. People moan about this and that in Britain but we have… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
I realised that the 'future' is different to how I imagined it. When I was a kid I thought it would be… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
In a way, I wish none of it had ever happened - Facebook, Twitter - if it had never happened the world… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
Doing comedy around the world is a way of finding out how people tick. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
That ideology was never going to work, was it? It was just cobbled together from different beliefs: The anti-intellectualism of the Khmer… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
I tried to like it. For me, it was like being smacked around the head by a piece of IKEA furniture: it hurts, but… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be exploitative. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
I did a show in this tiny town called Longyearbyen. We went snowmobiling around Svalbard and saw Arctic foxes, snow bunting, polar bear footprints… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
I hate getting ill, it irritates me so I try to stay reasonably healthy. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
There is something very poignant about plastic bags. These lonely plastic bags that gradually disintegrate. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
At college, I felt frustrated thinking three years was a long time and I just wanted a job but afterwards I was in employment… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
I am pretty laid-back as a parent, but I do like a lot of activity. So I am constantly suggesting things to do that… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
I don't think any comic could say there isn't a bit of them that doesn't want to show off. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!! — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
