It's the augmented fourth, or diminished fifth, depending on your outlook on life. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
I think happiness really happens when you least expect it: it's when you're not really thinking about it, when you're not trying… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
I think that generally there's a pressure to live the best life you can. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
In Unity there is strength; We can move mountains when we're united and enjoy life - Without unity we are victims. Stay… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
Yes. Yes, when we live our life like 1950s detective films. I often go to my fridge, "Hullo, we're out of milk.… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
If you become famous but haven't actually achieved anything, then your life has no real meaning - unless you're spectacularly shallow. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
Fatherhood made everything more straightforward. I was relieved that no longer did I have to agonise over what meaning I had in… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
If you have enough money to be comfortable it makes life a lot easier and that's undeniable. But I think happiness is… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
The day after tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life - that way you've always got a couple… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
I tried to like it. For me, it was like being smacked around the head by a piece of IKEA furniture: it hurts, but… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be exploitative. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
I did a show in this tiny town called Longyearbyen. We went snowmobiling around Svalbard and saw Arctic foxes, snow bunting, polar bear footprints… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
I hate getting ill, it irritates me so I try to stay reasonably healthy. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
There is something very poignant about plastic bags. These lonely plastic bags that gradually disintegrate. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
At college, I felt frustrated thinking three years was a long time and I just wanted a job but afterwards I was in employment… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
I am pretty laid-back as a parent, but I do like a lot of activity. So I am constantly suggesting things to do that… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
I don't think any comic could say there isn't a bit of them that doesn't want to show off. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!! — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
