No, that dress doesn't make you seem fat...but your dependence on others' opinions definitely makes you seem shallow. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A police officer came up to me yesterday and said, 'Where were you between four and six?' I said, 'Kindergarten' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Why is a man with a knife after your blood? Who sent him? I would like to write the fellow a letter… — Elizabeth Peters Copy Share Image
Polish people have a wit and sarcasm. They're gentle but still very strong. Like, they love beer, which is traditionally so manly,… — Antoni Porowski Copy Share Image
“I shou'd not myself have thought [Cato] worth so much notice as I have here taken of him; but that the Men… — Lady Sophia Fermor Copy Share Image
“The speed felt tremendous. And the bottom of the ravine was treacherous. She ought to control her mount somehow - slow it;… — Stephen R. Donaldson Copy Share Image
When the Wise man points at the moon... the idiot looks at the finger... — Avinash Wandre Copy Share Image
“Gotta have my make up, in case I run into Joey and he wants to beat the shit out of me. Gotta… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Sarcasm is the only way I can avoid saying fuck off since in other places its considered rude and a big ass… — Osvaldo M Copy Share Image
“This is awesome," Tsunami said. "I'm so excited." "Going to see my very favorite dragon in all of Pyrrhia." "Are you being… — Tui T. Sutherland Copy Share Image
“Who cares even if I didn't?!" Conor shouted back. "They're just stupid berries. Woo-hoo, so scary . Oh, please, please, save me… — Patrick Ness Copy Share Image
I have my own views about Nature's methods, though I feel that it is rather like a beetle giving his — Arthur Conan Doyle Copy Share Image
When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Need I say more?' 'No, because you're wrong, and I'd hate for you to keep embarrassing yourself.” — Erin McCahan Copy Share Image
Girl if you didn't act like you were all that when you were a 9 or a 10, you would have a… — Richie Parker Copy Share Image
“There’s been a lot written on the topic of minimalism. But I still believe in it.” — Ryan Lilly Copy Share Image
“Nobody liked my plan. "You want us to split up?" Chase asked, his brow wrinkling in obvious bewilderment. Lake echoed the sentiment,… — Jennifer Lynn Barnes Copy Share Image
Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The best way to measure the loss of intellectual sophistication - this "nerdification," to put it bluntly - is in the growing… — Nassim Nicholas Taleb Copy Share Image
I don't look at the world through a prism of sarcasm. Anything I do, I take things face on. I tell you… — Jim Nantz Copy Share Image
