She: Can I have breakfast in bed? Me: If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen. — Wandini Copy Share Image
Humor does not include sarcasm, invalid irony, sardonicism, innuendo, or any other form of cruelty. When these things are raised to a… — James Thurber Copy Share Image
A guy was trying to get a girl's attention. He decided to ask her to help him with his homework. She agreed.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Well, sir, let us do what we can to curtail this visit, which can hardly be agreeable to you, and is inexpressibly… — Arthur Conan Doyle Copy Share Image
Teenagers are bored. By everything. Show a teenager an actual volcanic eruption, in progress, featuring giant billowing clouds of smoke, hot rocks… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“I certainly don’t like the idea of missionaries. In fact, the whole business fills me with fear and alarm. I don’t believe… — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
“Can I ask who you are, sir?" "Yeah, I expect so," said Strike, walking past him and ringing the doorbell. Anstis's dinner… — Robert Galbraith Copy Share Image
“If you are rude, cynical, habitually-sarcastic or pessimistic, your life options are going to be very limited.” — Bryant McGill Copy Share Image
“Lord Ironman, please play tonsil hockey with me, just this one time. There, does that make you happy?” — Mercy Celeste Copy Share Image
When my wife and I met, I couldn't talk to her - and my defense mechanism is sarcasm. I belittle someone with… — Mike Vogel Copy Share Image
“Some people stride toward a better future. Others have chauffeurs.” — Ljupka Cvetanova Copy Share Image
The National Rifle Association says, 'Guns don't kill people. People do'. But I think the gun helps. — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
“You're Professor Mills? The new one who teaches history?" As opposed to the old Professor Mills who preached overthrow of the government?” — Josh Lanyon Copy Share Image
We had and incident. I took care of it." "Really." Jace's voice dripped sarcasm. "Do you even know how to use that… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
“don't play role in Drama that i well know about the content of script. i can count your steps after this. don't… — ikke achmad Copy Share Image
“Anyway, she thinks we're going to be all right. Like she says, a positive attitude is ninety-seven percent of the battle." This… — Suzanne Collins Copy Share Image
“[about a hat] You can put it on and say, "Hey you, person without a hat! I've got something you don't! How… — Alice LeGrow Copy Share Image
“Vegard and Riston's job today was to guard and protect me. And considering that I was in a tower room in the… — Lisa Shearin Copy Share Image
“For the first time, but certainly not the last, I began to believe that Arsenal's moods and fortunes somehow reflected my own” — Nick Hornby Copy Share Image
