In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins? — Rush Limbaugh Copy Share Image
I'm a licensed private investigator and have been for quite a while. I'm a lone wolf, unmarried, getting middle-aged, and not rich.… — Raymond Chandler Copy Share Image
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
On a busy day twenty-two thousand people come to visit Santa, and I was told that it is an elf's lot to… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I was lucky enough to realize my dream. When I was a little kid in Santa Barbara, sitting on the floor in… — Floyd Norman Copy Share Image
Rumors that the sun is out at Santa Ynez are without foundation," the radio said. — John Brunner Copy Share Image
So I've started wearing sweatpants to bed because I really don't need Santa seeing me in my underwear. — Jeff Kinney Copy Share Image
Santa Jr. I was a cop. Yes, I was officially Santa. But a younger Santa. He goes young, clean-shaven, to how we… — Judd Nelson Copy Share Image
When you think about it, Alaska is also near the North Pole, so she must also be friends with Santa. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
A true bubble is when something is overvalued and intensely believed. Education may be the only thing people still believe in in… — Peter Thiel Copy Share Image
I don't believe in right or left; I don't believe in Santa or Satan. I believe in things I can touch -… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
My father managed shopping malls when I was a kid, and my high school job was to dress up in an elf… — Karen Duffy Copy Share Image
Radar threw his books into his locker and shut it. Then the din of conversation around us quieted just a bit as… — John Green Copy Share Image
God put Santa Claus on earth to remind us that Christmas is 'sposed to be a happy time. — Bil Keane Copy Share Image
I went to the surplus store on Santa Monica and Vine (in Los Angeles) and went and got me a Navy outfit,… — Tyrese Gibson Copy Share Image
I had this grand idea that Elvira's kind of the Santa Claus of Halloween - at the malls, you'd have an Elvira… — Cassandra Peterson Copy Share Image
Be sure to lie to your kids about the benevolent, all-seeing Santa Claus. It will prepare them for an adulthood of believing… — Scott Dikkers Copy Share Image
Once you stop believing in Santa Claus, the whole world just goes downhill. — Tom Clancy Copy Share Image
With big folks, either people think you look mean or it's more of a jolly Santa Claus, 'Oh, he's just a pudgy… — The Notorious B.I.G Copy Share Image
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And… — W. C. Fields Copy Share Image
