Golf is a hard game to figure. One day you will go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and, for no reason at all,… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn't understand us at all. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
I need money. I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you. In Hollywood the weatherman gets a shooting schedule from all the… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
Go figure a crazy, mixed-up country where ballet outsells boxing. I wouldn't be surprised if their wrestling was on the level. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
