Smoking is very bad for you and should only be done because it looks so good. People who don't smoke have a… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Some people think that welfare reform should have hurt Bill Clinton with black voters. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
People say, 'Oh, politics is so polarized today,' and I'm thinking... '1861, that was polarized.' — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
When I left the Lampoon, I went west to try that out, and discovered that I hated it.They were awful people turning… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Most people sort of enjoy going to work because of the socialisation, a chance to flirt with co-workers and so on, but… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Politicians are always interested in people. Not that this is always a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I remember thinking cocaine was subtle until I noticed I'd been awake for three weeks and didn't know any of the naked… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The foundation of collectivism is simple: There should be no important economic differences among people. No one should be too rich. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Upbeat is for people who want to feel good about their cause: the reformers, the progressives, the revolutionaries, the utopians, the collectivists,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I think it's been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
They are just really stupid people in Hollywood. You write them a script, and they say they love it, they absolutely love… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It is very hard now to shock people into thinking about government regulation and the extent of government involvement in life. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Freedom is not empowerment. Empowerment is what the Serbs have in Bosnia. Anybody can grab a gun and be empowered. It's not… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Rich people don't like to be in the military. The shoes are ugly and the uniforms itch. Rich people don't go in… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
These were people who believed everything about the Soviet Union was perfect, but they were bringing their own toilet paper. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I live in rural New Hampshire, and we are, frankly, short on people who are black, gay, Jewish, and Hispanic. In fact,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The people who despise America are the editors of the 'New Statesman.' Their green-card applications must have been turned down. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The inherent purpose of American government is let people seek their own goals and to encourage them to be responsible on the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Soccer matches should be something special, something people eagerly look forward to, something that brightens life. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Iraq's invasion of Kuwait is a case of bad men doing wrong things for wicked reasons. This is the full-sized or standard… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
As long as we are on firm moral ground, as long as we're caring about other people, these are legitimate worries. The… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The commies are the only people on earth who think Star Wars will work. If they're that gullible, maybe we should have… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The real purpose of welfare is to get rid of poor people entirely. Everybody knows welfare has bad effects; that's the point. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
