For my new year's resolution, I promise to stop correcting your terrible spelling and focus more on your horrific grammar. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Your annual booze-fueled New Year's Eve spectacle will surely inspire us all to drink less in 2014. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My resolution is to get healthier while still destroying myself with alcohol and drugs. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's put significant pressure on ourselves to have a fun New Year's Eve. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I always thought by 2013 we would have flying cars. Instead, we have blankets with sleeves. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
It may be the antidepressants talking, but I'm feeling somewhat optimistic about 2014. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry the movie New Year's Eve will still be more enjoyable than your actual New Year's Eve. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry that, statistically speaking, you probably won't fulfill your resolution. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My excuses for already failing my New Year's resolution are more complicated than the fiscal cliff deal. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Thanks for inviting me to a New Year's party I'll have no recollection of attending. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Gaining 20 lbs over the holidays makes your New Year's resolution of losing 10 less impressive. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Lets attend an opulent New Year's Eve party so we can briefly ignore the horror of our impending poverty. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hope one of your New Year's resolutions is to stop tagging me in New Year's photos. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Wishing you even a minuscule percentage of the wealth and attention that will be showered upon the Kardashian fetus in 2013. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hope the world ends in 2012 so I can't be held accountable for my New Year's resolutions. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's not spend New Year's Eve trying to figure out where to spend New Year's Eve. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear God, my prayer for 2012 is a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don't mix these up like you… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's kiss on New Year's Eve 2013 as if we might have a future together in 2014. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Here's to drinking enough that we'll need Ryan Seacrest to help us count backwards from ten. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Seeing the irresponsibly dangerous stunts in the Spider-Man musical has prepared me for your New Year's behavior. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Now that the holiday blues are over, let's resume our everyday melancholy. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My resolution is to spend less time working which means you'll have to work more. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My New Year's resolution is to never tell you what the person looks like who you kissed on New Year's. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
This New Years, I'm going to party like Maury just told me I'm not the father! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
May the New Year bring you significantly more joy than the holidays did. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Here's to having a fresh start at binge eating, boozing, and slacking off. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Here's to ending the New Year still having a job that you still wish you didn't have. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My New Year's resolution is to stop lying to myself about making lifestyle changes. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's pencil each other in for a New Year's Eve kiss, with the understanding we'll drop each other if someone better comes… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I resolve to stop having meaningless sex in 2014, so I suggest you pay me a compliment or get me liquored up ASAP. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
