There's more attention paid to entertainers than ever and less that they have to say. Not that entertainers were ever a great… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Romney, Gingrich, Santorum spent their week lecturing America about the morality of birth control. You know, you guys don't need birth control,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Donald Trump announced he got his own segment every Monday morning on Fox News. Just what Fox News needs - another blonde… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I never thought I'd say this, what Obama needs in his personality is a little George Bush. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Since the Icelandic volcano obviously needs a virgin sacrifice and the Catholic Church obviously needs new leadership the Pope must volunteer to… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
This party is just full of children, and someone needs to leave them in a hot car. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Nowas you all know, this week, Pope Benedict told Vatican Radio—you know, Vatican Radio, playing the hits from the 8th century, 9th… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The NRA made an ad saying that Obama is elitist because his kids have armed guards. Yeah, that crazy Obama thinking his… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If you, the citizen, deliberately vote for someone who won't give you healthcare over someone who will, you need to have your… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Republicans don't have to accept evolution, economics, climatology, or human sexuality, but I just watched a week of their national convention, and… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I can't believe I'm saying this, but Obama looks like he DOES need a teleprompter. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
When did the business community in America become so sensitive? ... that we have to treat like some type of rare exotic… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Republicans have become the party of red, white and blue rose colored glasses. By drowning out criticism with USA! USA!, they prevent… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Rational people, anti-religionists, must end their timidity and come out of the closet and assert themselves. And those who consider themselves only… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep and conformists. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I thought this election was an adult discussion on how best to protect ourselves in the face of terrorism, but apparently it… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Americans are used to being pandered to and spoon-fed everything. In a culture that needs caffeine-free cherry chocolate diet Coke, you'd best… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You talk about 'Obama is going to herd us into FEMA brainwashing camps.' Maybe your brain needs a little washing. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I think we need to change that old saying, "I don't need a building to fall on me." Because two did and… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The great thing about having been poor is how liberated it makes you if you eventually become rich. There's nothing like the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: All Fox News employees must now refer to President Bush as "my liege". If they are going to treat President… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
In an average moral universal society, good people will try to do the right thing, and psychotic people will do wicked things.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
George Bush says, 'Gore's book needs a lot of explaining.' Of course, Bush says that about every book. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad`s room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
