A car is like a mother-in-law - if you let it, it will rule your life. — Jaime Lerner Copy Share Image
I'd love to slit my mother-in-law's corsets and watch her spread to death. — Phyllis Diller Copy Share Image
My mother-in-law was so mean she blinded herself just to get a free dog. — Gary Delaney Copy Share Image
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
My mother-in-law had to stop skipping for exercise. It registered seven on the Richter scale. — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
But there, everything has its drawbacks, as the man said when his mother-in-law died, and they came down upon him for the… — Jerome K. Jerome Copy Share Image
Wherever you find a wife and mother-in-law slugging it out, you'll find a son who's not speaking up to either his mother… — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
The mother-in-law had an accident at work. A hot rivet dropped down her drawers and she fell off the oil rig. — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
I've just had some bad news. Tomorrow is the mother in law's funeral. And she's cancelled it. — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like your husband to be kind to your own mother. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm often accused of saying some pretty rotten things about my mother-in-law. But quite honestly, she's only got one major fault -… — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. — Milton Berle Copy Share Image
My mother-in-law, Nanny, spent her working years as a bookkeeper at a medical office in Columbus, Ohio. Like so many Americans, she… — Ann McLane Kuster Copy Share Image
I don't like to speak of Islamic violence, because every day, when I browse the newspapers, I see violence, here in Italy...… — Pope Francis Copy Share Image
I'm sitting at the dinner table, wearing my future mother-in-law's underwear. It's like some twisted dream that you wake up and thinkL… — Sophie Kinsella Copy Share Image
I went from resenting my mother-in-law to accepting her, finally to appreciating her. What appeared to be her diffidence when I was… — Ayelet Waldman Copy Share Image
A guy wanted the vet to cut his dog's tail off. The vet asked why. Well, my mother in law is visiting… — Karel Capek Copy Share Image
The perfect family doesn't exist, nor is there a perfect husband or a perfect wife, and let's not talk about the perfect… — Pope Francis Copy Share Image
I think that what I do, in terms of how I craft my words rhetorically, is fairly simple stuff. I don't mean… — John Scalzi Copy Share Image
“On the drive up here, I saw a goose," he says. "A Canada goose. Fred told me they shit something horrible. They… — Brian Francis Copy Share Image
Then there was this freedom the little guys were always getting killed for. Was it freedom from another country? Freedom from work… — Dalton Trumbo Copy Share Image
One of the things for me, as a biographer, that is so significant is for Eleanor Roosevelt - the child who never… — Blanche Wiesen Cook Copy Share Image
Then, there's the modern mother-in-law. In her mid 40s, she is the compact car of her breed: efficient, trim, attractive and in… — Abigail Van Buren Copy Share Image
I know my mother-in-law would drive two hours to go see a movie that I'm in. — Melanie Lynskey Copy Share Image
Yet you would not drive a car with your mouth unless you are my mother-in-law. — Jean-Louis Gassee Copy Share Image
The awe and dread with which the untutored savage contemplates his mother-in-law are amongst the most familiar facts of anthropology. — James G. Frazer Copy Share Image
“Peter remained on friendly terms with Christ notwithstanding Christ's having healed his mother-in-law.” — Samuel Butler Copy Share Image
My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
Interfering, judgmental, and disrespectful mothers-in-law are common complaints. — Emily Yoffe Copy Share Image
Even though I have a zero relationship with my mother in law, she still insists I call her mom. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't think you have to live in the fantasy world of Westeros to have problems with your mother-in-law. — Natalie Dormer Copy Share Image
I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.' — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
My mother-in-law's so fat that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand she throws it. — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
