Whenever you're feeling sad masturbate, because every sad story deserves a happy ending. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There are two types of people in this world, people who masturbate and liars. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Whenever I masturbate I always pretend my right hand has a British accent. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“I do not masturbate often. Though at times I do so almost without being aware of it, actually.” — David Markson Copy Share Image
“But the future is uncertain, and he can’t get up enough enthusiasm even to masturbate.” — M.R. Carey Copy Share Image
“I bowl like I masturbate: with two hands. I should run for Congress.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
If you can't sit in a public transport and masturbate then we can't be friends. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“We would not be ashamed of doing some of the things we do in private, if the number of sane human beings… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I watched the footage of Saddam being executed, and it really made me think...is there nothing on the internet that I won't… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
The truth is that, after 30 years old, men still masturbate. There are still sexual problems that arise for guys. — Jason Biggs Copy Share Image
Above all others I pity the homeless: where can they go to masturbate? — Robert Clark Copy Share Image
Never masturbate to a fantasy involving anyone you might actually have to interact with. Trust me. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Youre probably doing something wrong if you have to give a press conference every time you masturbate. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“He looked as shocked as if I'd asked him to masturbate in front of me.” — Dia Reeves Copy Share Image
“But the future is uncertain, and he can't get up enough enthusiasm even to masurbate.” — M.R. Carey Copy Share Image
Always masturbate, because there's homeless kids in Africa with no arms who can't. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Life is full of important decisions like whether or not you got time to masturbate. — Peter Griffin Copy Share Image
