“I would like to make three other observations. First, they illustrate clearly that what we do for each other before marriage is… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
“Negative feelings are more often alleviated when they are ignored rather than pampered. When you act positively in spite of negative emotions,… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
One of the things I say is, 'You cannot control your spouse, but you can influence your spouse.' And one of the… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
“It is a fact, however, that when we receive affirming words we are far more likely to be motivated to reciprocate and… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need. — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
If we can develop the character and work with God, then let him develop the character of Christ in us, we're going… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
We cannot rely on our native tongue if our spouse does not understand it. If we want them to feel the love… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
“Often we fail to consider the fact that our social, spiritual, and intellectual interests are miles apart. Our value systems and goals… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
For a long time, I have been wanting to write a book for singles that would help them in the dating process… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
We can certainly see contemporary examples of people who radically change. As long you believe your spouse will never change and you… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
I think another [myth] is that some marriages are just hopeless. This is a common thing I hear from people, "Well, I… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
“Instead of cursing the darkness, light a candle in your own heart. Say to God, “If you will give me a vision… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
When you're married, the person you would most like to love you is your spouse. And if you feel loved by your… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
In a difficult marriage, both of us have failed each other. Even though one may be the major problem,you also have failed… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
Sometimes when the spouse is really the culprit, it is hard to admit what you consider your little failures, but if you… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
I wrote this book [ Desperate Marriages] because of my own marriage. My wife and I struggled greatly in the early years… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
I have been doing marriage counseling for about 15 years and I realized that what makes one person feel loved, doesn't make… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
“Before marriage, we are carried along by the force of the in-love obsession. After marriage, we revert to being the people we… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
I think one of the other myths is that your environment determines your happiness. That if you are living with an alcoholic… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
Typically, we get annoyed when our spouses complain. We get defensive. But, really, when your spouse complains, he or she is giving… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
“It also should not be assumed that a marital crisis—the kind where one or both partners feel as if they “can’t take… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
If you want to improve a relationship, it's not that you demand your spouse to change. You have to ask, 'Where did… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
Every single day in a marriage, we influence each other. It is a matter of am I going to have a positive… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
People do not get married planning to divorce. Divorce is the result of a lack of preparation for marriage and the failure… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
“Love makes requests, not demands. When I demand things from my spouse, I become a parent and she the child.” — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
Over the long haul, many of those people [in a difficult marriage] will begin to reciprocate, because you are meeting a basic… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
Physically abusive and verbally abuse marriages are very, very difficult situations. I fully understand people in those kinds of marriages who think… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
We all desperately need love. If a spouse in a difficult marriage will learn the love language of that spouse, and they… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
“If I choose justice and seek to pay my spouse back or make her pay for her wrongdoing, I am making myself… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
“He was a sincere husband who failed to understand the tremendous power of presence. His being there for his wife was more… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
“The social institution of marriage is first and foremost a covenant relationship in which a man and a woman pledge themselves to… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
Very few alcoholics get into a treatment program until they are at the end of the rope, often when they feel like… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
I hope the reader's sense that I am deeply empathetic with the pain of being in a desperate marriage, but I also… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
“Third, one who is "in love" is not genuinely interested in fostering the personal growth of the other person. "If we have… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
This book [Desperate Marriages ] is really a book on how to be a positive change agent in a very, very difficult… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
Emotions are our spontaneous response to life. We have these emotions, but if the emotion is a negative emotion, then I have… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
Marriages are always moving from one season to another. Sometimes we find ourselves in winter--discouraged, detached, and dissatisfied; other times we experience springtime, with… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
Something in our nature cries out to be loved by another. Isolation is devastating to the human psyche. That is why solitary confinement is… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
Most of us have more potential than we will ever develop. What holds us back is often a lack of courage. — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
On the other hand, if I walk in the house, I don't even bother to find her, I just walk in the den and… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
“I look for three things in hiring people. The first is personal integrity, the second is intelligence, and the third is a high energy… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
Love is always freely given. Love cannot be demanded. We can request things of each other, but we must never demand anything. Requests give… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
“Psychologist William James said that possibly the deepest human need is the need to feel appreciated.” — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
I think that in today's world, by nature, we are all self-centered. And that often leads to selfishness. — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
Sometimes when the spouse is really the culprit, it is hard to admit what you consider your little failures, but if you are going… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
“There is a third truth, which only the mature lover will be able to hear. My spouse’s criticisms about my behavior provide me with… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
The getting out part [of advise] may well be true. Because if you have tried the tender love thing... typically the abuser is not… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
I wrote this book [ Desperate Marriages] because of my own marriage. My wife and I struggled greatly in the early years of marriage.… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
![“I think another [myth] is that some marriages are just hopeless. This is a common thing I hear from people, "Well, I just think there are some marriages that are hopeless, Dr. Chapman, don't you agree with that?" I say I understand the feeling, but the fact is that there are no marriages that are…” quote by Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/8c8/gary-chapman-1325_agree_i-think-another-myth-is-that-some-marria_2055655.jpg)
![“I wrote this book [ Desperate Marriages] because of my own marriage. My wife and I struggled greatly in the early years of marriage. In spite of the fact that we were Christians before we got married, we prayed about getting married, we believed it was God's will for us to get married, and we…” quote by Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/66d/gary-chapman-1325_book_i-wrote-this-book-desperate-marriages-be_209297.jpg)
![“Over the long haul, many of those people [in a difficult marriage] will begin to reciprocate, because you are meeting a basic need in their life, the need for love, and they know they don't deserve love many times.” quote by Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/0e6/gary-chapman-1325_basic-needs_over-the-long-haul-many-of-those-people_2162059.jpg)
![“This book [Desperate Marriages ] is really a book on how to be a positive change agent in a very, very difficult marriage. I am not promising that all individuals will be responsive to the approach I take, but I do believe that many marriages could be saved... could be healed. That is my hope.” quote by Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/632/gary-chapman-1325_agents_this-book-desperate-marriages-is-really_2000967.jpg)
![“The getting out part [of advise] may well be true. Because if you have tried the tender love thing... typically the abuser is not going to change until they are pushed in a corner.” quote by Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/e10/gary-chapman-1325_abusers_the-getting-out-part-of-advise-may-well_178102.jpg)