By nature, most people are controlled by their emotions. They feel sad, so they look sad. — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
Most people spend far more time in preparation for their vocation than they do in preparation for marriage. — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
I cannot change others, but I can influence others... we can't change people, but we can and we do influence people, and… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
When people respond too quickly, they often respond to the wrong issue. Listening helps us focus on the heart of the conflict.… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
We can choose the attitude that says, I have been wronged. People have hurt me, but with the help of God, I… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
The pattern often has been entrenched since childhood... [abusive people] don't think that there is anything wrong with them because that is… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
Over the long haul, many of those people [in a difficult marriage] will begin to reciprocate, because you are meeting a basic… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
People do not get married planning to divorce. Divorce is the result of a lack of preparation for marriage and the failure… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
My attitude affects my actions. So, if I have a negative attitude about it, then it is going to show up in… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
I think another [myth] is that some marriages are just hopeless. This is a common thing I hear from people, "Well, I… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
I think one of the myths is that people don't change. A lot of people believe that. Their spouse has been an… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
The decision to get married will impact one's life more deeply than almost any decision in life. Yet people continue to rush… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
The reality is, if you go to the library and read biographies, thousands of people have changed, radically changed. St. Augustine was… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
We can look at the pain in our lives. We can look at the way we have been mistreated, and we can… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need. — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
We can certainly see contemporary examples of people who radically change. As long you believe your spouse will never change and you… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
Togetherness has to do with focused attention. It is giving someone your undivided attention. As humans, we have a fundamental desire to… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
Physically abusive and verbally abuse marriages are very, very difficult situations. I fully understand people in those kinds of marriages who think… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
Marriages are always moving from one season to another. Sometimes we find ourselves in winter--discouraged, detached, and dissatisfied; other times we experience springtime, with… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
Something in our nature cries out to be loved by another. Isolation is devastating to the human psyche. That is why solitary confinement is… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
Most of us have more potential than we will ever develop. What holds us back is often a lack of courage. — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
On the other hand, if I walk in the house, I don't even bother to find her, I just walk in the den and… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
“I look for three things in hiring people. The first is personal integrity, the second is intelligence, and the third is a high energy… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
Love is always freely given. Love cannot be demanded. We can request things of each other, but we must never demand anything. Requests give… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
“Psychologist William James said that possibly the deepest human need is the need to feel appreciated.” — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
I think that in today's world, by nature, we are all self-centered. And that often leads to selfishness. — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
Sometimes when the spouse is really the culprit, it is hard to admit what you consider your little failures, but if you are going… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
“There is a third truth, which only the mature lover will be able to hear. My spouse’s criticisms about my behavior provide me with… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
The getting out part [of advise] may well be true. Because if you have tried the tender love thing... typically the abuser is not… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
I wrote this book [ Desperate Marriages] because of my own marriage. My wife and I struggled greatly in the early years of marriage.… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
![“The pattern often has been entrenched since childhood... [abusive people] don't think that there is anything wrong with them because that is the way they were brought up in their family.” quote by Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/8ab/gary-chapman-1325_abusive_the-pattern-often-has-been-entrenched-si_1597705.jpg)
![“Over the long haul, many of those people [in a difficult marriage] will begin to reciprocate, because you are meeting a basic need in their life, the need for love, and they know they don't deserve love many times.” quote by Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/0e6/gary-chapman-1325_basic-needs_over-the-long-haul-many-of-those-people_2162059.jpg)
![“I think another [myth] is that some marriages are just hopeless. This is a common thing I hear from people, "Well, I just think there are some marriages that are hopeless, Dr. Chapman, don't you agree with that?" I say I understand the feeling, but the fact is that there are no marriages that are…” quote by Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/8c8/gary-chapman-1325_agree_i-think-another-myth-is-that-some-marria_2055655.jpg)
![“The getting out part [of advise] may well be true. Because if you have tried the tender love thing... typically the abuser is not going to change until they are pushed in a corner.” quote by Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/e10/gary-chapman-1325_abusers_the-getting-out-part-of-advise-may-well_178102.jpg)
![“I wrote this book [ Desperate Marriages] because of my own marriage. My wife and I struggled greatly in the early years of marriage. In spite of the fact that we were Christians before we got married, we prayed about getting married, we believed it was God's will for us to get married, and we…” quote by Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/66d/gary-chapman-1325_book_i-wrote-this-book-desperate-marriages-be_209297.jpg)