What I have against religion is that they start you when you are so defenseless. I mean, I was three when they… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I want to always be an interloper. I never want to feel like I'm a guy who is embraced by the people… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
During the debate, Bush was asked by a lady to name three mistakes he's made. And Bush responded, this debate, the last… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Rush Limbaugh, who has made a career preaching that anybody who does drugs has got to go right to jail - do… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Let's be honest, half the marriages end in divorce. For me, it's never made much sense. I have a girlfriend and I'm… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The plain fact is religion must die for mankind to live. The hour is getting very late to be able to indulge… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
John Kerry made a joke about Bush being a moron, and now Bush wants morons to think it was a joke was… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
We had a national tragedy this week, and the President of the United States and Sarah Palin both made speeches on the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Sam Harris made that great analogy. He said, 'If someone was talking into their hair dryer and claiming that they were speaking… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The NRA made an ad saying that Obama is elitist because his kids have armed guards. Yeah, that crazy Obama thinking his… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A new cologne is coming out. It's for cowboys, and it's made from cow's manure. That way the women will be on… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
McCain was introduced at the convention last night by his wife -- I won't say 'trophy wife' -- but she did $300,000… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Look, I have never made a secret of the fact that I have tried marijuana... About 50,000 times. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Many people can't deal with unanswered questions, which religion exploits by providing answers, even if they are just made up by someone.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
On the show, I do a very serious thing. And a lot of people have a hard time reconciling that with what… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If anybody is so mad at Vladimir Putin, you know what they could do? They could advocate for a gas tax. He… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad`s room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
