I have this idyllic love life, but my mind just won't accept that. I would like to bring a new guy home… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
Instead of saving for someone else's college education, I'm currently saving for a luxury retirement community replete with golf carts and handsome… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
I thought that's what happened to women: You live alone when you're old. — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
I love being on the road, but to make a living as a road comic, you have to be on it most… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
A lot of times that I'm single is not for a lack of anyone being interested; it's me. — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
I'd love to be a hit in Germany. I'm working on trying to get a gig as David Hasselhoff's opening act. — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
I have memories of my grandfather Kirkman making mashed potatoes that were so good because they tasted like a bowl of butter.… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
I find it actually the height of romance to legally bind yourself to someone because you're really taking care of someone, and… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
If I could make crazy money just doing stand-up, that's what I would do. — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
What I found out about myself was I am not someone who doesn't believe in marriage. — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
I have no interest in saying "This is who I am! This is what I'm like!" — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
I actually like, love, and respect myself, and I try not to take anything too seriously. — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
The urge that most people feel to have kids is the exact same as the urge that I have to not have kids. I… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
“remember asking my mom when I was little if I could go live at this place in Boston called “The Home for Little Wanderers.”… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
Couples without kids have each other, their friends, families, and Siri to talk to. It's not like they're quarantining themselves in an underground bunker,… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
I used to make albums because I wasn't touring, and so I thought, "This is the best way for people to find out about… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
Eventually I'm going to be too old to be on camera, and I've been doing stand-up a long time. — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
I don't want to have kids and so I am not going to have kids. People who want kids are going to have kids.… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
I have this idyllic love life, but my mind just won't accept that. I would like to bring a new guy home every night.… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
Its almost Thanksgiving! A day when you get to hear your extended family use racial slurs for groups are not taking away their jobs. — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
Actually, my friendships are changing because my friends have kids, so that's a new aspect to the material. Not just that I don't want… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
As a woman of a certain age - and really, ever since I hit puberty and my baby-making parts were suddenly subject to public… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
