With all the bullshit in my life lately, I'm surprised I can't fertilize a nice flower garden in my back yard! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end the faster it goes. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
His imaginary girlfriend has left him. Due to lack of imagination, he cant imagine a life without her... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Before smartphones life was terrible. I practically never stepped in dog shit. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Dear circle, Do you ever wake up in the morning and realize your life is pointless? Sincerely, square. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
No matter how nice you try to be someone will cast you to play the cunt in their life story. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I wonder if you have unprotected phone sex if you can get hearing aids? — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Women fake headaches to get out of having sex with their man, and men fake not being married to have sex with a woman. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I've been told by so many women that I'm a great listener. A majority of them, have big boobs. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Scientists have found that women share the same dna as prawns.. Their heads are full of shit but their pink bits taste amazing! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When someone is mad and asks you Do I look stupid? Don't answer them just stare curiously at them — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Passion is a strong emotional desire of love and hate to humans or objects — Green Monk Copy Share Image
You may love a girl very deeply... But u CANNOT express it more deeper than... 5, 6 or 7 inches... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Note To Females: You cant blame the entire male genre just because you were attracted to some assholes. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you can't understand what someone has said even though they have repeated it four times — Green Monk Copy Share Image
