You know the old saying: "History is written by the winners. And also, the team of hand-picked historians that the winner keeps… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
Even the worst job has its benefits and so does being a professional literary agent, and - I know I said this… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
Do not listen to the killjoys who tell you never to eat oysters in months that do not contain the letter R:… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
Terry Gross has never had me on her show and you know, it's her show; she sets the agenda and that's not… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
I realized that we're now at a point of self-reference with the Internet culture that there's almost no there left, you know?… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
It was inevitable that in the proliferation of media and media channels and the natural debasing of authority that comes when you… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
Tonally, there was no discussion; I just don’t know any other way to do it. I don’t want to make people feel… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
I am not beautiful, so I don't know why I'm making myself ugly. But the mustache stays. — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
You know, I began my life as a creative person writing true things for magazines and telling some very honest, straightforward personal… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
Why certain political classes want purposefully to keep Americans in a state of perpetual debt and uncertainty and why certain people don't… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
The nice thing about live performance is that I've never, ever been let down. Partly I'm lucky that my audience self-selects itself.… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
Life may be miraculous in its unlikelihood in the universe, but it would be a fallacy to suggest that its rareness makes it inextinguishable. — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
I navigated the world as a hedge maze of constant fear and worry in which I might take the wrong turn and jeopardize the… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
“There are transitions in life whether we want them or not. You get older. You lose jobs and loves and people. The story of… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
John Wilkes Booth and Lee Harvey Oswald meet in hell and team up to assassinate Satan. — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
I think in American culture, we put value on economic success but tell people you don't have to be economically successful to be happy. — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
If you look in the dictionary under 'perfectionist,' you see Henry Selick correcting the definition of perfectionist in the dictionary. I mean, he is… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
Lies are just another kind of storytelling, but with the very distinct and enlivening motive of desperation. Since writers are by nature desperate creatures,… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
I've made my evolutionary purpose and had children. I don't care if anybody likes me, I'm going to do what I want to do.… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
“When you live in New York or any big city, it is easy to fail at growing up. The city is designed to keep… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
You wouldn't want to live a life in which you are loved or approved by all people on Earth or even within your own… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
Well, I always had this desire to celebrate and somehow be a part of things that I thought were really great. — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
