Americans don't need a metaphor for war. We have war. If anything, we use war as a metaphor for sports. — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
Sports is a bloodless rehearsal of confrontation, and everyone shakes hands or high fives or fist bumps at the end to show… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
I am amused by cricket because it seems to take longer than baseball and I like that. It seems like a sport… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
“If you have not seen it, FOOTBALL is a game in which men shove one another back and forth for no reason.… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
All I can ask from society is that it please stop telling me why I should like sports. — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
If you have not seen it, FOOTBALL is a game in which men shove one another back and forth for no reason.… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
As you know, the thing that I know the least about is the topic of sports. — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
Life may be miraculous in its unlikelihood in the universe, but it would be a fallacy to suggest that its rareness makes it inextinguishable. — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
I navigated the world as a hedge maze of constant fear and worry in which I might take the wrong turn and jeopardize the… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
“There are transitions in life whether we want them or not. You get older. You lose jobs and loves and people. The story of your life may change dramatically, tragically, or so quietly you don’t even notice. It’s never any fun, but it can’t be avoided. Sometimes you just have to walk into the cold dark water of the unfamiliar… — John Hodgman Copy Share
John Wilkes Booth and Lee Harvey Oswald meet in hell and team up to assassinate Satan. — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
I think in American culture, we put value on economic success but tell people you don't have to be economically successful to be happy. — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
If you look in the dictionary under 'perfectionist,' you see Henry Selick correcting the definition of perfectionist in the dictionary. I mean, he is… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
Lies are just another kind of storytelling, but with the very distinct and enlivening motive of desperation. Since writers are by nature desperate creatures,… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
I've made my evolutionary purpose and had children. I don't care if anybody likes me, I'm going to do what I want to do.… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
“When you live in New York or any big city, it is easy to fail at growing up. The city is designed to keep… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
You wouldn't want to live a life in which you are loved or approved by all people on Earth or even within your own… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
Well, I always had this desire to celebrate and somehow be a part of things that I thought were really great. — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
