My candidacy is a compelling argument for my candidacy. I want to be President. — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
To want to become the President is, I think, such a bizarre ambition that it is automatically deranging. — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
A lot of media that that I want to consume, I don't want to have to own forever and ever. It's not… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
When a good friend gives you his or her book, you don't want to read it, because you're afraid that it's not… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
I've made my evolutionary purpose and had children. I don't care if anybody likes me, I'm going to do what I want… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
The reality is that if you want to be in a reality-based community, you've got to respect reality and that means calling… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
Why certain political classes want purposefully to keep Americans in a state of perpetual debt and uncertainty and why certain people don't… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
You wouldn't want to live a life in which you are loved or approved by all people on Earth or even within… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
Tonally, there was no discussion; I just don’t know any other way to do it. I don’t want to make people feel… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
Everyone feels like they would love to be a really cool bartender in a really cool bar, but you're still surrounded by… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
Life may be miraculous in its unlikelihood in the universe, but it would be a fallacy to suggest that its rareness makes it inextinguishable. — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
I navigated the world as a hedge maze of constant fear and worry in which I might take the wrong turn and jeopardize the… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
“There are transitions in life whether we want them or not. You get older. You lose jobs and loves and people. The story of… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
John Wilkes Booth and Lee Harvey Oswald meet in hell and team up to assassinate Satan. — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
I think in American culture, we put value on economic success but tell people you don't have to be economically successful to be happy. — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
If you look in the dictionary under 'perfectionist,' you see Henry Selick correcting the definition of perfectionist in the dictionary. I mean, he is… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
Lies are just another kind of storytelling, but with the very distinct and enlivening motive of desperation. Since writers are by nature desperate creatures,… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
I've made my evolutionary purpose and had children. I don't care if anybody likes me, I'm going to do what I want to do.… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
“When you live in New York or any big city, it is easy to fail at growing up. The city is designed to keep… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
You wouldn't want to live a life in which you are loved or approved by all people on Earth or even within your own… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
Well, I always had this desire to celebrate and somehow be a part of things that I thought were really great. — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
