I think that by the time I start writing the third book, of course, I will be President Of The United States,… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
“We who are white men can't change who we are. But we could do worse than to follow what I took that… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
By the time I was writing the second book, my life had changed rather dramatically, thanks to the intervention of television, and… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
For a long time, I would write without music, because I thought it was distracting until I appreciated that it actually unlocks… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
What would I put in a museum? Probably a museum! That's an amusing relic of our past. — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
Any time you try to create an Internet meme, automatic fail. That's like the worst thing you can do. — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
“I wish she were alive, but I am grateful for her death. If she were alive, I would likely still be working… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
Even the worst job has its benefits and so does being a professional literary agent, and - I know I said this… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
A lot of my time is spent reading antique or out-of-print books of reference. — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
“What more is there to say than it was traumatic, a moment that breaks your life in half? That you never heal… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
I think for the foreseeable future, the truth is going to be awful and funny all at the same time. — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
The reality is that if you want to be in a reality-based community, you've got to respect reality and that means calling… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
This is something that the nimblest standup comedians learn, over time, to handle gracefully. They'll go between prepared material, then they'll respond… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
There is no metaphor for death. All comparisons are odious, but I'll do one anyway. We all have these moments of harsh… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
In a mad moment, my family and I purchased a home in Maine because it's the place in the world that my… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
We cannot wholly rely, as though it were Medieval times, [on the notion that] the only reality is what we see in… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
“There are times when all the lies you have told about yourself to yourself just fall away. In your twenties, you tell… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
I am not an Internet superstar. I am, ironically perhaps, the most old media superstar of all time. My fame is due… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
“She taught me that the world would continue without me. And eventually I learned that lesson. It took some time...Everything is cliche.… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
“never underestimate the cool of your elders. They might be a kickass pair of lesbian superwomen who lived exactly the fuck the… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
What I've discovered more recently is copies of books that I didn't represent, but that my boss represented when I assisted her… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
I still have a fondness for books. Many a time I will be antiquing, and I'll say, 'What's that old-timey curio over… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
Life may be miraculous in its unlikelihood in the universe, but it would be a fallacy to suggest that its rareness makes it inextinguishable. — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
I navigated the world as a hedge maze of constant fear and worry in which I might take the wrong turn and jeopardize the… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
“There are transitions in life whether we want them or not. You get older. You lose jobs and loves and people. The story of… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
John Wilkes Booth and Lee Harvey Oswald meet in hell and team up to assassinate Satan. — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
I think in American culture, we put value on economic success but tell people you don't have to be economically successful to be happy. — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
If you look in the dictionary under 'perfectionist,' you see Henry Selick correcting the definition of perfectionist in the dictionary. I mean, he is… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
Lies are just another kind of storytelling, but with the very distinct and enlivening motive of desperation. Since writers are by nature desperate creatures,… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
I've made my evolutionary purpose and had children. I don't care if anybody likes me, I'm going to do what I want to do.… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
“When you live in New York or any big city, it is easy to fail at growing up. The city is designed to keep… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
You wouldn't want to live a life in which you are loved or approved by all people on Earth or even within your own… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
Well, I always had this desire to celebrate and somehow be a part of things that I thought were really great. — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
