I say, if you're going to eat a creature alive, you have to expect some screaming. That is the carnivore's burden. — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
By the way, if I have my own cult of personality with my own geodetic dome in western Massachusetts, I will have… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
Americans don't need a metaphor for war. We have war. If anything, we use war as a metaphor for sports. — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
I'm not a particularly religious person, but that feeling of getting transmissions from someplace else, even if it's from your own consciousness,… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
I'm not sure if that answers the question and I have absolutely no problem with any major world religion on Earth. — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
I don't really collect anything. I mean, if I see a piece of Moxie soda memorabilia, I'll probably buy it. I'm a… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
We estimate that there are perhaps 20,000 prehistoric hunter-gatherers frozen up in those glaciers. Now, if they simply thaw and wander around,… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
The reality is that if you want to be in a reality-based community, you've got to respect reality and that means calling… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
I've made my evolutionary purpose and had children. I don't care if anybody likes me, I'm going to do what I want… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
What I collect? Interesting jobs. Always to my thrill and excitement, but ultimately to my exhaustion, I collect interesting jobs. If an… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
If you have not seen it, FOOTBALL is a game in which men shove one another back and forth for no reason.… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
One of the things about crowd work that's so exciting is when you discover a character in the audience who's interesting or… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
That catharsis is really the core of the incredibly personal comedy of Louis C.K. or Marc Maron or whatever. And look -… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
I don't care if I tell that story and John Roderick gets up afterward and yells, 'I hope you enjoyed the white… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
Life may be miraculous in its unlikelihood in the universe, but it would be a fallacy to suggest that its rareness makes it inextinguishable. — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
I navigated the world as a hedge maze of constant fear and worry in which I might take the wrong turn and jeopardize the… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
“There are transitions in life whether we want them or not. You get older. You lose jobs and loves and people. The story of… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
John Wilkes Booth and Lee Harvey Oswald meet in hell and team up to assassinate Satan. — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
I think in American culture, we put value on economic success but tell people you don't have to be economically successful to be happy. — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
If you look in the dictionary under 'perfectionist,' you see Henry Selick correcting the definition of perfectionist in the dictionary. I mean, he is… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
Lies are just another kind of storytelling, but with the very distinct and enlivening motive of desperation. Since writers are by nature desperate creatures,… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
I've made my evolutionary purpose and had children. I don't care if anybody likes me, I'm going to do what I want to do.… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
“When you live in New York or any big city, it is easy to fail at growing up. The city is designed to keep… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
You wouldn't want to live a life in which you are loved or approved by all people on Earth or even within your own… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
Well, I always had this desire to celebrate and somehow be a part of things that I thought were really great. — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
