Yes, my mom does keep making references to marriage, like all mothers do, but it's only in a lighter mood... she just… — Saina Nehwal Copy Share Image
Evolution has programmed our brains to find two things particularly interesting, and therefore memorable: jokes and sex - and especially, it seems,… — Joshua Foer Copy Share Image
The worst was I had little control in terms of smoothing out my questions and making myself look good the way I… — Jancee Dunn Copy Share Image
Roger Ebert has had his right thumb trademarked. Now the police will actually have to pay him if he ever has to… — Andy Waits Copy Share Image
Imagination is for Turbonerds who can't handle how kickbutt reality is. — Ramandeep Singh Copy Share Image
I've always been jealous of people who can tell stories really well in a room with a bunch of people. I've never… — Brendan Benson Copy Share Image
I thought it would be such a sick joke to have to remain to be alive for decades and not believe in… — Douglas Coupland Copy Share Image
A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents. — Georg C. Lichtenberg Copy Share Image
The entire Quran is a big joke. If it was not so violent, it would be the biggest comic book ever written. — Ali Sina Copy Share Image
Racing is bulging at the seams with pure nutball characters, men who can drink more, screw more, fight more, laugh more, joke… — Brock Yates Copy Share Image
If you convince me to make me think WHAT THE FUCK you instantly get a retweet. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you watch an audience watching my movies, you realize that nobody laughs at the same time. Some people enjoy a beat,… — Quentin Dupieux Copy Share Image
Be not affronted at a joke. If one throw salt at thee, thou wilt receive no harm, unless thou art raw. — Oliver Goldsmith Copy Share Image
Whenever the devil harasses you, seek the company of men or drink more, or joke and talk nonsense, or do some other… — Martin Luther Copy Share Image
“One of the greatest gifts in this world is the ability to make others smile. - The Unauthorized Autobiography of Jonathan Fisher” — J.E.B. Spredemann Copy Share Image
If I'm laughing, you know I'm either very happy or very sad. I cope with things with jokes. — Cristela Alonzo Copy Share Image
None of my comedy depended on looks. I never did tons of fat jokes. — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share Image
The only thing worse than it raining after you wash your car... Is having to poop as soon as you get out… — Me Copy Share Image
I was so amazingly witty when I had the No. 1 movie, you have no idea. People laughed at every single one… — Rebecca De Mornay Copy Share Image
I'll be 50 years old tomorrow and that means, among other things, that now Bob Dole can start telling jokes about me. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Anarcho-capitalism, in my opinion, is a doctrinal system which, if ever implemented, would lead to forms of tyranny and oppression that have… — Noam Chomsky Copy Share Image
The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing. — Ronnie Barker Copy Share Image
He looked gravely at the king. "It isn't an easy thing to give your loyalty to someone you don't know, especially when… — Megan Whalen Turner Copy Share Image
It's a cosmic joke that I'm a lesbian, because I understand men so well but women are a complete mystery to me. — Lea DeLaria Copy Share Image
Despite the Internet 's origin in the late 1960s as a government sponsored means of communication between the Department of Defense, private… — L. Neil Smith Copy Share Image
