I get a kick out of replying to people on Twitter sometimes if I make a joke. — Scott Rogowsky Copy Share Image
The joke I always make about myself is that I'm self-involved, but I'm not vain. — Lena Dunham Copy Share Image
Violence, if it is not solving all your problems, you simply are not using enough of it — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I just heard the latest joke about my hair: 'Do you know what that is on her head? It's a steering wheel… — Yulia Tymoshenko Copy Share Image
And I admit it: there's a rather dirty thrill when 700 people laugh at a joke you've written. — Laura Wade Copy Share Image
“Joke: What was the octopus's favorite game at the beach BBQ? Tidal Pool Twister” — Heather Wolf Copy Share Image
When we cant laugh again on the same joke, then why do we cry again and again for the one and the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I think as a blonde person with make-up on, you're automatically the punchline to the joke. — Emily Atack Copy Share Image
Growing up, there weren't many people on TV who looked like me - apart from the odd shopkeeper and the odd dodgy,… — Asim Chaudhry Copy Share Image
“Why is war so much like a practical joke? she thinks. Hiding behind bushes, leaping out, with not much difference between Boo!… — Margaret Atwood Copy Share Image
As an actor, your life is constant ups and downs. My friends and I joke that when a job ends and nothing… — Ari Graynor Copy Share Image
Every time I get happy the Nana-hex comes through. Birds turn into plumber's tools, a sonnet turns into a dirty joke, a… — Anne Sexton Copy Share Image
'Community' is a comedy show, and one of the characters happens to be a Christian. I do think they have been very… — Yvette Nicole Brown Copy Share Image
“Thanks. Seriously, you must have better things to do with your life than waste it on the hopeless?' 'I've already learned Parseltongue.… — Michelle Hodkin Copy Share Image
For sure there's that old stigma, like the joke: 'What do you call a guy who hangs around with musicians? A drummer.'… — Josh Freese Copy Share Image
I think the BJP is a joke. It is a party of semi-literates and has fascist tendencies. Such a party can never… — Subramanian Swamy Copy Share Image
My first gig ever was writing looplines for a movie that had already been made. You know, writing lines over somebody's back… — Joss Whedon Copy Share Image
“When I go to the bathrooms, I cannot take off my pants as before; because there is a light continuously blinking like… — M.F. Moonzajer Copy Share Image
You're under the gun at all times because it's live TV. A lot of time, between dress and air, you're having to… — Paula Pell Copy Share Image
Once an actor told me he went to the Shakespeare School of Acting, and I said, 'I went to the Shakespeare of… — Michael Clarke Duncan Copy Share Image
Sticks and Stones may break my bones but nooses will kill me,names will never harm me. And Yes My sister has hair… — Bobby Hazzard Copy Share Image
When I told him on the phone that after all you and I would not be getting married, he said "Oh-oh. Do… — Alice Munro Copy Share Image
It's like that Simpsons joke - they're filming a cow in a movie and they go, 'OK, we'll tape a bunch of… — Ian Williams Copy Share Image
A lot of times I go to a comedy show, I sit there and wait for the comedian to run out of… — Eugene Lee Yang Copy Share Image
