Joke Quotes · Page 8

My brother Billy was the joke teller. My brother Jim had a really sharp, cutting wit. And the teller of long stories,…

— Stephen Colbert

Comedy needs to happen naturally and be in touch with the character. When you see that guy in your office that everybody…

— Terry Crews

Divorce is no joke and is painful for whatever reason it breaks down.

— Sonja Morgan

I joke that I'm in the market for a cabin in the woods, and, at some point, I won't be joking anymore.

— Kasie Hunt

I hope if I'm going to do a dirty joke, it's at least clever and not cheap.

— Taylor Tomlinson

I think a lot of my songs are very silly and very stupid, written to entertain people, but in the end, I…

— Jens Lekman

It's been a joke my entire life, because I'm quite limby, I'm very uncoordinated. Everyone finds it hysterical that I've started dancing.

— Emma Corrin

I couldn't afford to get sick in prison. My sickle cell is no joke, so I couldn't eat poorly or not exercise.…

— Prodigy

I always thought security was a joke at New York airports, and in U.S. airports to begin with. You can go through…

— Richard Drew

“Finding out that you are not your lover’s only lover hurts, but not as much as discovering that you are the side…

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Being a parent is not for the faint of heart. I may joke about knowing fear, but the fact is, the first…

— Harlan Coben

I joke about it being a millstone, but it never hurts to have a name that sticks out.

— Zephyr Teachout

There is a standing joke in my family that I was born with a ladle in my hand.

— Maneet Chauhan

I've had times where I've joked, like, 'I'm going to move to Vermont and become a painter.' And sometimes that joke felt…

— Kate Micucci

This tastes so delicious but you sound so ridicloius.

— Anthony Barger

I joke that every time I'm in the playoffs, it feels like I'm in the Super Bowl.

— Chris Long

There's no such thing as a hit joke.

— Ron White

We are constantly being showered by little blood clots, but if you have PFO and a little blood clot gets to your…

— Terry Dubrow

Every morning, I would actually look at the obituaries before I had breakfast. And as a joke I said if I was…

— Carl Reiner

I'm not really political in my comedy, and I'm not looking to have the best joke about Trump or the best joke…

— Esther Povitsky

I joke around all the time, 'I'm Asian; I'm really good at math.'

— Brenda Song

What does it mean to dance? What does it mean to commit a crime? What does it mean to be anxious? What…

— Theodore Zeldin

Taking the time to polish a pun or fine-tune a practical joke is a way of saying, 'I'm thinking about you and…

— Andrew Hudgins

“We are sometimes depressed by our failure to convince people who strongly believe that we are that we are definitely not depressed.”

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana

All fraudulent elections should be condemned, including those in Turkey and Russia. And we need to be doubly mindful not to indulge…

— Lisa Kennedy Montgomery