I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes. — Carol Burnett Copy Share Image
We joke a lot about how, in Hollywood, the writer is one step below the doormat. That's not self-loathing. That's true! — Robert Ben Garant Copy Share Image
I joke about it being a millstone, but it never hurts to have a name that sticks out. — Zephyr Teachout Copy Share Image
It was funny to hear that I'd slapped Bieber. I thought it was a joke. Then it blew up. I probably got… — Blake Griffin Copy Share Image
I loved the idea that I could write a joke and someone else would have to take the risk of performing it. — Judd Apatow Copy Share Image
“Don't worry, I won't bite. Well, at least not in the way you're afraid of." He chuckled at his own joke. -… — Richelle Mead Copy Share Image
“Joke: What did the seahorse say when the sand dollar landed on his back in the rip current? "Hi-yo Silver! Swim-away!" :)” — Heather Wolf Copy Share Image
One joke coming from one person can land completely flat, while somebody else delivering it in a unique way can really elevate… — Zoe Quinn Copy Share Image
A white couple gets a black child. Angry husband asks- You white, Me white. Why is baby black? Wife- You hot, Me… — AB Copy Share Image
For a long time trans people have always been a joke. Our reputation has always been the bottom of the barrel and… — Carmen Carrera Copy Share Image
Being on 'The Office' prepared me for drama. Comedy got me ready, but once you get down to it, they're two sides… — Craig Robinson Copy Share Image
My dad always said, 'There's no limit to the amount of people you can entertain as long as you're willing to be… — Cris Collinsworth Copy Share Image
I always say, if I tell you a joke right now and it's funny, you laugh. Now, we set the lights, and… — Martin Landau Copy Share Image
Kids are appendages on so many family sitcoms. They'll come in, they'll make half a joke, and then they're like, 'OK, gotta… — Jason Jones Copy Share Image
The U.K. and Europe in general seem to be a lot more patient. The U.S. are expecting 'joke joke joke joke joke… — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
“An Irishman walks into a pub,” she begins and the bar went silent. “The bartender asks him, ‘What'll you have?’” Her Irish… — Fisher Amelie Copy Share Image
I've always had to conquer fear when I'm on stage. Basically, I was and still am a very shy person. It's absolutely… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I keep on repeating something told to me by an American psychologist: "When you are making a joke about someone and you… — Tariq Ramadan Copy Share Image
“I recall the story of the philosopher and the theologian... The two were engaged in disputation and the theologian used the old… — Julian Huxley Copy Share Image
You know, I liken it to - when you write a joke for somebody else, it's like you - you know, like… — Neal Brennan Copy Share Image
Basically, we used to have a rule at 'Saturday Night Live' that you're not allowed to bring up 'The Simpsons' at the… — Adam McKay Copy Share Image
I had big teeth, and I was goofy. I probably used to mess with people too much. People were always trying to… — Lamorne Morris Copy Share Image
“I started studying law, but this I could stand just for one semester. I couldn't stand more. Then I studied languages and… — George Pólya Copy Share Image
