When people come in to act on the show, we say, "Just be extremely dry and not funny. Let the idea be… — Tim Heidecker Copy Share Image
I like to say, Chop sueys the biggest culinary joke that one culture has ever played on another, because chop suey, if… — Jennifer Lee Copy Share Image
I used to joke that, since breastfeeding, my boobs looked like an old athletic sock with some loose change at the bottom,… — Jessica St. Clair Copy Share Image
Contrary to reports, this boy is not a billionaire or going to be richer than any Beatle... and not just in the… — Bono Copy Share Image
“Oh, God, oh, God. A sense of humor. She’d thought the hardly-even-a-hint she’d caught of it a while back had been a… — Susan Andersen Copy Share Image
“When were you born?" "Huh?" She scrunched up her nose at the sudden change in topic. "Your sign?" He insisted. She thought… — Joannah Miley Copy Share Image
(Tosting by an illiterate)..Hello baby whats your name is ? (Baby)..am Juliet N U? (illiterate)..plz be call me Wizguy.(illiterate)...baby can we be… — Juniorjk Copy Share Image
“You are more likely to find three TVs inside a randomly selected house than you are to find a single book that… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
It's fun to deliver material on live TV because it's more off-the-cuff, but I like writing better. You really can measure the… — Willie Geist Copy Share Image
There can be a science to joke writing, there are certainly rules and patterns that can be followed, but I think most… — Robin Ince Copy Share Image
“But I actually did change Mary-Kate’s and Ashley’s diapers once. And that was four years ago. Ashley came up with the punch… — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
As I grow older, I become more and more of a Marxist - Groucho, that is. When you have lived two-thirds of… — Karen DeCrow Copy Share Image
The war on drugs is a joke. We spend $40 billion a year, and the proof that it's a failure is that… — David Sheff Copy Share Image
I used to joke that my next book would be about puppies that have lost a chew toy, and everywhere they went,… — Don Winslow Copy Share Image
When I first broke out, everyone was like, 'OK, so is this a joke?' They had to wait until I sold out… — Yung Lean Copy Share Image
It has always seemed a cruel joke to me that the very word 'stutter' is difficult for many stutterers to pronounce. It… — Kate Forsyth Copy Share Image
When I came back to New York, it was such a joke because I was always referred to as the pure young… — Jim Carroll Copy Share Image
It's easy to say, 'This is just a joke.' You know, the bearded lady? And I feel the need to smash it… — Conchita Wurst Copy Share Image
That boy was a walk away joke, born to be a leaver hes the wrong kind of paradise shes gonna know it… — Alexia Copy Share Image
The media circus got a bit twisted when I was in London. It became a bit of a joke, really. In Paris,… — Pete Doherty Copy Share Image
I don't really like jokes in a way. I mean gags are fine but I like weird moments where what you have… — Noel Fielding Copy Share Image
“I wish the world had been made in six days, and knocked to pieces again in six more. And I wish I… — G.K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
You get sick of jokes, you know. Either I do them on TV, and then you worry, like, "Oh, everyone's gonna see… — Dave Chappelle Copy Share Image
I try to do women's-point-of-view comedy. The joke is, 'This is what I think; there's the truth.' I try to think of… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
“It was late when father and the Duke tracked me down feigning surprise that I was in the usual place every time… — Shattered Roses E L Parfitt Copy Share Image
Because Buffy really has become the straight man, every once in a while it's nice to be the one that tells the… — Sarah Michelle Gellar Copy Share Image
There's an old joke that you know you're in heaven if the cooks are Italian and the engineering is German. If it's… — David Byrne Copy Share Image
With anything you put out there, you're going to offend somebody, but most people get that it's a joke, that I'm playing… — Trevor Moore Copy Share Image
I remember as a boy when the conversation on civil rights was won in the South. I remember a time when one… — Al Gore Copy Share Image
“You need to look the fucking sick joke that is life straight in the eye and tell it to bring its fucking… — Mia Asher Copy Share Image
All of Creation’s a farce. Man was born as a joke. In his head his reason is buffeted Like wind-blown smoke. Life… — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
Guys will definitely settle for women who get the joke. But a woman who can make you laugh? It's not high on… — Hank Azaria Copy Share Image
I write these shows one joke at a time. There's no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories,… — Ron White Copy Share Image
You're going to get flak if you tell the wrong joke, but it's still the wrong joke. Give the wrong speech, you… — Brad Paisley Copy Share Image
It can be embarrassing being associated with a character like Finchy - people naturally assume you're just like him. Some people come… — Ralph Ineson Copy Share Image
A pregnant lady went to an astrologer. Astrologer: When u deliver a baby, baby's father will die. Lady: Thank god! My husband… — AB Copy Share Image
People said, 'What are you talking about? She's so small. What are you doing? This is a joke.' We didn't have the… — Sofia Kenin Copy Share Image
I say it all the time: Texas high school football. It's no joke. It's a big deal. And when you get good… — Baker Mayfield Copy Share Image
There have been times where I have said, even in a sketch that I'm not in, 'I don't think you should be… — Bowen Yang Copy Share Image
A friend of mine once wrote a silly article about all these metrosexuals like David Beckham wearing sarongs, and she described me… — Kevin McCloud Copy Share Image
