The best plan now is to have as many bosses as possible. I call it boss diversity. If you work for a… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
There's no such thing as good ideas and bad ideas. There are only your own ideas and other people's. If you want… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
If your boss gets drunk and offers to photocopy her posterior, do not helpfully suggest pressing reduce 75%. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Boss: I just heard that light travels faster than sound. I'm wondering if I should shout when I speak, just so my… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
In yesterday's post, I asked how many of you guys would have sex with a robot if it was indistinguishable from a… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
The surest way to identify those who won't succeed at weight loss is that they tend to say things like "My goal… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
The greenest home is the one you don't build. If you really want to save the Earth, move in with another family… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Highly intelligent and well-informed people disagree on every political issue. Therefore, intelligence and knowledge are useless for making decisions, because if any… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
The children are our future. And that is why, ultimately, we're screwed unless we do something about it. If you haven't noticed,… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
To the engineer, all matter in the universe can be placed into one of two categories: (1) things that need to be… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Good advertising can make people buy your product even if it sucks ... A dollar spent on brainwashing is more cost-effective than… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“If you think your odds of solving your problem are bad, don’t rule out the possibility that what is really happening is that you… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Frankly, I’m suspicious of anyone who has a strong opinion on a complicated issue. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“If you want success, figure out the price, then pay it. It sounds trivial and obvious, but if you unpack the idea it has… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
For five hundred dollars, I'll name a subatomic particle after you. Some of my satisfied customers include Arthur C. Quark and George Meson. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“Failure always brings something valuable with it. I don’t let it leave until I extract that value.” — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“On all the important stuff, we are emotional creatures who make decisions first and rationalize them after the fact.” — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“What you rarely see is a stillborn failure that transmogrifies into a stellar success. Small successes can grow into big ones, but failures rarely… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“Because everything you perceive is a metaphor for something your brain is not equipped to fully understand. God is as real as the clothes… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“Capitalism is rotten at every level, and yet it adds up to something extraordinarily useful for society over time. The paradox of capitalism is… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
