If you have a good product. You don't need to advertise. You've done drugs? Did you ever see them advertised? — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
A lot of the Olympic games just boil down to genetics. Michael Phelps is genetically built to swim better than other people… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I sometimes wonder if necrophiliacs are really into dead people or if they just enjoy the quiet. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
Why even moon a sorority girl if they can't see the swingy egg bag part of it? — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I drink during every show. I can't remember the last show I did completely sober. It works for me. I use it… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
What if I don't want a leader? Where does that vote go? I do good on my own. I don't want to… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
If I say f*** the government, some will clap because they agree and some will clap just because you said f***. I've… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
If you're going to kill yourself just do me one favor: say it was because of my act. Can you do that?… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I couldn't be a responsible enough parent if my kid was born with a new suit and a full-time job. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I had no musical or athletic ability, and I wasn't particularly good looking. Comedy was something I could do for attention. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
Jesus died for your sins. I'm doing it for your mere entertainment dollar. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I believe that everyone should be treated as an individual. Women should be treated equally in the right to vote, sure. But if Im… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
They say 'life is precious'. To who? To you, when you're young and you've got a few dollars in your pocket. Tell that to… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
The ultimate act of cowardice is the fat-headed wrestling guy sitting behind the frail kid in math class, clipping him on the ear, saying:… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
There's no such thing as addiction, there's only things that you enjoy doing more than life. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
The whole acting and Hollywood [thing], it's just work to me. Stand-up comedy ruins you so badly for doing television. I don't really need… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
You should laugh everywhere you can find even the slightest glimmer of humour. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
Everybody's angry. They've got nothing to be angry at, so they're angry about nothing. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
People who want to kill other people are the last people I want to party with, because I get mouthy when I drink. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
Democracy is the worst kind of government, I'm sorry. Would you still call yourself a Christian if they elected a new Jesus every four… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
![“The whole acting and Hollywood [thing], it's just work to…” quote by Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/34c/doug-stanhope-1528_acting_the-whole-acting-and-hollywood-thing-it_124805.jpg)
