Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.” — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Whenever a copyright law is to be made or altered, then the idiots assemble. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Jim said that bees won't sting idiots, but I didn't believe that, because I tried them lots of times myself and they… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
When the world is made to be idiot-proof, the world will become overpopulated with idiots. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Imagine, if you will, that I am an idiot. Then, imagine that I am also a Congressman. But, alas, I repeat myself. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I used to think my father was an idiot, until I turned twenty-one... Then I thought he was a genus. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Once I talked to the inmates of an insane asylum in Hartford. I have talked to idiots a thousand times, but only… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The proverb says that Providence protects children and idiots. This is really true. I know because I have tested it. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A policeman in plain clothes is a man; in his uniform he is ten. Clothes and title are the most potent thing,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The people of those foreign countries are very, very ignorant. They looked curiously at the costumes we had brought from the wilds… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Begin with the determination to succeed and the work is half done already. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
