We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it's efficiency is only marred by the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There was a knock on our dressing-room door. Our manager shouted, 'Keith! Ron! The Police are here!' Oh, man, we panicked, flushed… — Keith Richards Copy Share Image
Poems for children help them celebrate the joy and wonder of their world. Humorous poems tickle the funny bone of their imaginations. — Charles Ghigna Copy Share Image
“They were Republicans, Nixon Republicans, and so didn't subscribe to the notion that laws are supposed to apply to all people equally.” — Bill Bryson Copy Share Image
Looking back, I realize that my life has been a series of incidents where one person has said to another, "Get this… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I feel sorry for Rick Astley, one day he is going to die and nobody will know about it for weeks because… — Ade Bozzay Copy Share Image
“And the challenge in the next round would be determined by the winner of this test. "Like, what, the DOM-matrix?" ~Tara Reese” — Lucian Bane Copy Share Image
From Paris we took the Orient Express to Vienna. I must say I was terribly disappointed; nobody was murdered on the train. — George Burns Copy Share Image
“And are you going to explain why you consider competing with me to be the most sincere form of compliment?” “Of course… — Brandon Sanderson Copy Share Image
I'm not going out and hitting a 95-mph fastball where I can't see the stitches. I'm not on a professional football team… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
You have to find the tone of the piece and modulate that. There are ways to indicate that - I try to… — Daniel Clowes Copy Share Image
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Aw, come on, admit it—you feel like Cinderella, don’t you?” “No, Darren, I don’t. And do you know why?” “No, sugar, you… — L.A. Gilbert Copy Share Image
It's remarkable - most remarkable, the way these people manage, from time to time, a tragedy or a near-tragedy to break the… — Martha Ostenso Copy Share Image
The desire to express in an art form and to compose a tableau and vignette whether it's humorous, burlesque, or poetic comes… — Elia Suleiman Copy Share Image
Many of the things that stifle growth are morally neutral. They're not bad things. Facebook is not bad. Television and movies are… — Matt Chandler Copy Share Image
“Some men would not still be HIV negative or alive, if they had managed to sleep with some of the women with… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I should think it takes a fairly low intellect to draw pleasure from the following activity: hitting a ball with a crooked… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
We have federal regulations and state laws that prohibit hunting ducks with more than three rounds. And yet it's legal to hunt… — Dianne Feinstein Copy Share Image
People on the Continent either tell you the truth or lie; in England they hardly ever lie, but they would not dream… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
Interesting - I use a Mac to help me design the next Cray.(when he was told that Apple Inc. had recently bought… — Seymour Cray Copy Share Image
I never worry that all hell will break loose. My concern is that only part of hell will break loose and be… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“You know I hate to chase. I'm only here to talk, but if you run, I'll have to chase and we both… — Kaye Chambers Copy Share Image
The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of a trick… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“It’s mind-blowing and delicious and better than finding a pot of gold, a unicorn, and a leprechaun who shits diamonds at the… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It was decided almost two hundred years ago that English should be the language spoken in the United States. It is not… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
“Fact: The plastic knife is perfect for when a person just wants to make some marks on his food and get insanely… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
I've been playing golf a long time, although it's not really true that on my first round they strapped my bag on… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
“Locavore?" But before he could answer, I figured it out. "Someone who eats food produced locally? As opposed to locovore, someone who… — Mari Donne Copy Share Image
“Ron: [mimicking Hermione] "It's Levi-OOOOH-sa not LevioSAR." She's a nightmare, honestly. It's no wonder she hasn't got any friends!” — J.K. Rowling Copy Share Image
If you are watching my films and wondering, am I missing humorous speak because I'm not Korean? Am I missing out? You… — Park Chan-wook Copy Share Image
“Although they probably know that some children were used and some children are used as miners, most adults are ignorant of the… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I've no time for broads who want to rule the world alone. Without men, who'd do up the zipper on the back… — Mae West Copy Share Image
And this should go without saying. That's why I'm going to say it: Drinking and driving don't mix. Do your drinking early… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“...but once more I say do as you please, for we women are born to this burden of being obedient to our… — Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra Copy Share Image
There's a very apt saying in show business: "If you don't go over budget in Paris, you're either very rich or very… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
“Cross.” His head popped up a few shelves over. “What?” “Check out the magic crap.” He shot me a look. “Oh, is… — Rachel Hawkins Copy Share Image
You only have to solve two problems when going to the moon: first, how to get there; and second, how to get… — Jim Rohn Copy Share Image
Peggotty!" repeated Miss Betsey, with some indignation. "Do you mean to say, child, that any human being has gone into a Christian… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
![“Ron: [mimicking Hermione] "It's Levi-OOOOH-sa not LevioSAR." She's a nightmare, honestly. It's no wonder she hasn't got any friends!” quote by J.K. Rowling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6ec/j-k-rowling-86_harry_ron-mimicking-hermione-it-s-levi-ooooh-s_1961549.png)
