“A comedian is better than a politician; at least there is no doubt.” — Bangambiki Habyarimana Copy Share Image
“Oh, hell. You're a fairy," I said. "Yeah," he said. "You know, they call it 'being gay' nowadays, but sure, whatever.” — Red Tash Copy Share Image
“When Uncle W. G. held out his hand to take my money, I dropped the dead mouse in his hand.” — Earl B. Russell Copy Share Image
Of course God enjoys a good prank as much as the next infallible deity. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as… — Brian Kernighan Copy Share Image
In my experience, you run into trouble when you ask a group of beer-drinking men to perform any task more complex than… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“The front door swung open, and Zsadist strode into the house. Wrath glared. "Nice of you to show up, Z. Busy tonight… — J.R. Ward Copy Share Image
For the first two years of a child's life, we spend every waking hour tryibg to get the child to communicate. Then… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I promised myself that if ever I had some money that I would savor a cigar each day after lunch and dinner.… — W. Somerset Maugham Copy Share Image
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use?… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The conductor is a peculiar person. He turns his back on his friends in the audience, shakes a stick at his players… — Victor Borge Copy Share Image
“Albert Camus did not know he was summing up modern photojournalism when he wrote:"Will I kill myself or have a cup of… — Sacha Hartgers Copy Share Image
...the wonderful poems interpreting with equal magic the romance of strange lands and times, or the modern soul, naked and unashamed, as… — Israel Zangwill Copy Share Image
“Quadruple crap. Why couldn’t I control myself? Why did he have this effect on me? “Are you compelling me right now?” To… — Christie Rich Copy Share Image
“I gave Henry a supscription [sic] to the Book of the Month club that tells you the book you have to read… — Anita Loos Copy Share Image
“The surgeon tells me that you're a sorcerer," Pym said. "Is that so?" Jaki looked to the captain with the glare of… — A.A. Attanasio Copy Share Image
“You have to come downstairs now!" panted Alice. "What's wrong?" "Everything! Izzy's floating, Melanie ran into the wall, my hand made a… — Katie Mattie Copy Share Image
“For their never-ending endeavours to obtain or retain wealth, countries desperately need companies, because they—unlike most human beings—have the means of production,… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
You'll call me a damned Jew, a Christ murderer, a secret worshipper of pigs and a kidnapper of christian children.' This was… — Bernard Cornwell Copy Share Image
“So what are you supposed to do with it?" He eyed her incredulously. "For real? It's called a butt plug. What do… — Christine Bell Copy Share Image
I believe if I make God angry one more time. I'll be eligible to win a free Bible — Stanley Victor Paskavich Copy Share Image
Should I be the one to play God? We're both about the same age, but we grew up in different neighborhoods. — George Burns Copy Share Image
The lullaby is the spell whereby the mother attempts to transform herself back from an ogre to a saint. — James Fenton Copy Share Image
“I've admired a lot of people in my life time and some of them were actually alive.” — Stanley Victor Paskavich Copy Share Image
“To some believers, being on the pill or using a condom is a nonverbal way of telling God to go to hell.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Did you once own ruby slippers, and did a house fall on your head? You're a daft little munchkin.” — Heather Fleener Copy Share Image
The world's strongest animals are plant eaters. Gorillas, Buffaloes, Elephants and me. — Patrik Baboumian Copy Share Image
“The easiest way to get a promotion is with knowledge, i.e. if you know a thing or two about your boss.” — Ljupka Cvetanova Copy Share Image
Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun). — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
“her hips were having an argument with the upper half of her body as to who was to get more eye contact” — J.S. Mason Copy Share Image
If a little is great, and a lot is better, then way too much is just about right! — Mae West Copy Share Image
“I don't know why they call them Cheerios, I ate an entire box and didn't feel any happier!!” — Neil Leckman Copy Share Image
I am not now, and never have been, a girlfriend of Henry Kissinger. — Gloria Steinem Copy Share Image
I'm so far gone that I'm telling the truth. It sounds like a foreign language. — Richard Peck Copy Share Image
Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
![“I gave Henry a supscription [sic] to the Book of the Month club that tells you the book you have to read every month to make your individuality stand out. And it really is remarkable, because it makes over 50,000 people read the same book every month.” quote by Anita Loos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ac8/anita-loos-10892_book_i-gave-henry-a-supscription-sic-to-the-b_2160639.png)
