You've always been a great mom because of your patience, sense of humor, and fondness for daytime drinking. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A fine horse or a beautiful woman, I cannot look at them unmoved, even now when seventy winters have chilled my blood. — Arthur Conan Doyle Copy Share Image
This has always bothered me. If Change is the only constant how can we have absolutes? — Stanley Victor Paskavich Copy Share Image
I have never had sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky. I've never had an affair with her. — William J. Clinton Copy Share Image
Invite them all in. Nip out the back door. Phone the police and tell them your house is being burgled. — Mike Harding Copy Share Image
Sex has been around for a long time. You may not believe this, but it was around before I was. — George Burns Copy Share Image
“Finding out that you are not your lover’s only lover hurts, but not as much as discovering that you are the side… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“We are sometimes depressed by our failure to convince people who strongly believe that we are that we are definitely not depressed.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“I sensed more than recognized the sound of those skeletal knuckles on the door. I was too young for it to be… — Dan Skinner Copy Share Image
“In the beginning was the word, and that word was probably misconstrued by someone who then made it into a personal issue… — Ade Bozzay Copy Share Image
“The "word" did not "offer itself" in a take-it-or-leave-it fashion, any more than Caesar's heralds would have said, "If you'd like a… — N.T. Wright Copy Share Image
When you consider the opportunity and power He had to really do a job, and then look at the stupid, ugly little… — Joseph Heller Copy Share Image
Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
When we got off the streetcar at Times Square, it was somewhat of a letdown. Newspapers were blowing about the road and… — Charlie Chaplin Copy Share Image
Take the folks at Coca-Cola. For many years, they were content to sit back and make the same old carbonated beverage. It… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Speaking of tongues, they are the main reason I'm a nervous wreck. Ryan is a senior and well, sadly, I'm not all… — Jillian Dodd Copy Share Image
“Nobody should have to put their boxers in a half rotted chest of drawers.” “Hey. I’ll have you know that the rustic… — Adrienne Wilder Copy Share Image
“He broke off and eyed with dignified surprise a fine piece of wireless telegraphy between husband and wife. It appeared that Mr.… — W.W. Jacobs Copy Share Image
“What is even happening here?" Will said, looking to each of us and the back to wherever the cougars had wandered off… — Christina Lauren Copy Share Image
“You can do this (this thing, where your body will cease to produce hormones and your skin, hair, muscles and bones... basically… — Lisa Jey Davis Copy Share Image
Zeus Is Dead is full of laugh-out-loud moments, lashings of sly wit, moan-worthy puns, and a complex, fast-paced storyline. There aren't very… — Jody Lynn Nye Copy Share Image
“The streak of bleach in my hair is as obvious as ever. Am I really going out in public like this? I… — Sophie Kinsella Copy Share Image
Happy Mother's Day to the greatest mom in the world besides Michelle Obama. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Renee: “Trout, get your mind out of the gutter.” Trout: “Can’t help it—it’s attached to my body.” — John C. Stipa Copy Share Image
Because of its vitality, the computing field is always in desperate need of new cliches: Banality soothes our nerves. — Alan Perlis Copy Share Image
“By the time he was done with the deer it had been dark three hours and his bad leg was singing 'Ave… — Stephen King Copy Share Image
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“The average adult has had sex innumerable times more than they have formed an opinion of their own.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
If I paid ten dollars for a cigar, first I'd make love to it, then I'd smoke it. — George Burns Copy Share Image
“I do believe in shooting the messenger. You know why? Because it sends a message.” — L.J. Smith Copy Share Image
“"If you want that kind of thing, call Nick. His advice is shit, but he really likes to give it.” — Kelley Armstrong Copy Share Image
Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming. — J. P. McEvoy Copy Share Image
“Make requests, not demands. example: “please” kill that zombie honey, I’m out of bullets.” — Jesse Petersen Copy Share Image
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. — W. C. Fields Copy Share Image
When I'm writing a lyric, things can only get so serious before they start becoming humorous. — John Prine Copy Share Image
Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I have no clue. I have ovaries; therefore, I repel all things mechanical. — M. Leighton Copy Share Image
