A wise saying is something you keep picking up off the floor in front of your fridge — Robert Breault Copy Share Image
“Some men’s chests are more buttlike than some women’s butts.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Germans respond well to lies. At least, they always have historically. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Music hath the charm to soothe a savage beast, but I'd try a revolver first. — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
I admire that about the Republicans: The evidence does not faze them. They are not bothered at all by the facts. — William J. Clinton Copy Share Image
“...every year for decades there had been great excitement over the Largest Vegetable competition ("That would be my husband", was the standard… — G.M. Malliet Copy Share Image
If you have a legal problem, guess how you determine whether or not you need a lawyer. You see a lawyer. Isn't… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I knew we were in for a long season when we lined up for the national anthem on opening day and one… — Jim Leyland Copy Share Image
“Walking the Camino de Santiago taught me the wonders of physical challenge, the wonders of spiritual freedom, and the wonders of baby… — Christy Hall Copy Share Image
The British suffer from a most unfortunate superiority complex - unjustified even under Victoria and most certainly hopelessly out-of-date today. — George Mikes Copy Share Image
“Death would not surprise us as often as it does, if we let go of the misbelief that newborns are less mortal… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
It being a part of Mrs. Pipchin's system not to encourage a child's mind to develop and expand itself like a young… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
I cannot articulate enough to express my dislike to people who think that understanding spoils your experience... How would they know? — Marvin Minsky Copy Share Image
The only thing that matters to me about my stories is that they're entertaining and they're funny. And I tend to get… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“It’s alright, Kitten,” Bones said. “He won’t shoot.” Tate lowered his gun, even as the sudden dizziness from blood-loss made me sway.… — Jeaniene Frost Copy Share Image
I have never heard enough classical music to be able to enjoy it; & the simple truth is, I detest it. Not… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
My character Milly in 'The Boy Who Could Fly' was a very strong part. There were dramatic moments, and there were humorous… — Lucy Deakins Copy Share Image
In high school, when I first heard of entropy, I was attracted to it immediately. They said that in nature all systems… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I really am a little afraid, my dear,” hinted the cherub meekly, “that you are not enjoying yourself?” “On the contrary,” returned… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“I once met an RAF pilot who told me of what he called a "bird strike". This, rather unfairly in my view,… — Hugh Laurie Copy Share Image
