The humorous look of children is perhaps the most endearing of all the bonds that hold the Cosmos together. — Gilbert K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
Israeli murderers are called "commandos," Arab commandos are called "terrorists." — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Have a happy Mother's Day before your kids reach an age when they're completely jaded about Mother's Day. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Famous people steal my quotes all of the time without knowing; none of it is ever very interesting though.” — Robert DeCoteau Copy Share Image
“You don't seem to realise, that in married life three is company and two is none.” — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
In business, the competition will bite you if you keep running, if you stand still, they will swallow you. — Victor Kiam Copy Share Image
The last time I checked, the Constitution said, 'of the people, by the people and for the people.' That's what the Declaration… — William J. Clinton Copy Share Image
“Josh is the company tech expert, which means we all think he’s a little bit shaman, a little bit magician, and mostly… — Julia Kent Copy Share Image
“We're going to the Underworld," Izzy said. She bounced a little as she said it, her eyes bright and her tone implying… — Rachel Hawkins Copy Share Image
Why (he wondered rhetorically) do people who have a position that's being attacked constantly state that they have a right to say… — Peter David Copy Share Image
Medical researchers have discovered a new disease that has no symptoms. It is impossible to detect, and there is no known cure.… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The Lord's Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is 286 words, and there are 1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence.… — David McIntosh Copy Share Image
“If the ties that bind ever do come loose If forever ever ends for you If that ring gets a little too… — The Band Perry Copy Share Image
“Sip tea and coffee with those who say you can, politely stuff with cookies any who say you cannot. Because the stuff… — Tom Althouse Copy Share Image
“I shot him a look. "That bouncer was really big." His lips quirked. "Oh, Kitten, see, I try not to say bad… — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
“I can’t help but smile when I read that someone was inspired by the voices in their head and how they just… — Angelique Jones Copy Share Image
“He said that it was very difficult to become an astronaut. I said that I knew. You had to become an officer… — Mark Haddon Copy Share Image
“That’s crazy,” Gabriel said. “We must be seventy million years in the past.” “Nearly a hundred and twenty-five million,” Ohin said. “It… — G.L. Breedon Copy Share Image
“I would never have broken up with you," I said earnestly. "I'm more miserable without you than I am with you." As… — Sean Kennedy Copy Share Image
We all operate in two contrasting modes, which might be called open and closed. The open mode is more relaxed, more receptive,… — John Cleese Copy Share Image
Every single bit of entertainment is escapism. It's because you are saying, "Let's see what this other person's life is like." And… — Bruce Campbell Copy Share Image
I think there are a lot of things out there that are humorous that people don't realize until you actually show them… — Tim Conway Copy Share Image
