“You held me down and rammed me so hard I deep-throated you from the other end.” — Marita A. Hansen Copy Share Image
A clever, imaginative, humorous request can open closed doors and closed minds. — Percy Ross Copy Share Image
A dog is one of the remaining reasons why some people can be persuaded to go for a walk. — Orlando Aloysius Battista Copy Share Image
A German singer! I should as soon expect to get pleasure from the neighing of my horse. — Frederick The Great Copy Share Image
I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
East Germany was so total in its totalitarianism that everything was banned which wasn't compulsory. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In Riemann, Hilbert or in Banach space Let superscripts and subscripts go their ways. Our symptotes no longer out of phase, We… — Stanislaw Lem Copy Share Image
If the security personnel do their job properly, they just might cause you to miss your plane, thereby possibly saving your life. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Streets crowded with people strolling, or sitting at outdoor cafes. And always, talking, gesturing, singing, laughing. I liked Rome immediately.Everybody was a… — Kirk Douglas Copy Share Image
“Trojan is a terrible name for a brand of condom. Why name it after something that, after penetrating the wall, broke open… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wish I was a phone machine. I wish if I saw somebody on the street I didn't want to talk to… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Some jobs are worse than actual wives. Ad agency vs. Matrimony, for instance: Even the most capricious and demanding spouse is not… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
You're a great brother. You give us a heart attack worrying about your heart attack, which you didn't even have the decency… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
“Kools never did get along with partners. He once stabbed a fella over whose turn it was to drive. Kools says I… — David Wong Copy Share Image
“My sub doesn't pay for me,” he says, pulling me to my feet. “That just doesn't happen.” “But we ordered so much,”… — Nenia Campbell Copy Share Image
I am absolutely sick unto death of hearing people say - they all say this; it must be Item One on the… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
People often ask me, "What's the difference between couplehood and babyhood?" In a word? Moisture. Everything in my life is now more… — Paul Reiser Copy Share Image
“Hello there," Inigo hollered when he could wait no more. The man in black glanced up and grunted. "I've been watching you."… — William Goldman Copy Share Image
“Darcy rolled the quill between his fingers and looked with benign pity upon his cousin. “You should, you know. It’s a wonderful… — Karen V. Wasylowski Copy Share Image
“Much slower, I turned around to see Vlad examining his fingernails, as if his hands weren't still ablaze in the flames that… — Jeaniene Frost Copy Share Image
“That widow’s peak is preposterous. God. It really makes you feel the sad dearth of widow’s peaks in daily life. We could,… — Laini Taylor Copy Share Image
“I walked back by way of the sea-lions' enclosure to refresh my eyes with the King Penguin's perfect ecclesiastical tailoring. He was… — Edward Verrall Lucas Copy Share Image
