“It's not polite to ask if a man has a big salami in his pants, okay?” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“Some people react to suffering by denying the very possibility of God's existence” — Michael Ots Copy Share Image
I have my own views about Nature's methods, though I feel that it is rather like a beetle giving his — Arthur Conan Doyle Copy Share Image
The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly. — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
“You need to be greedy or ignorant to truly want to live forever.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don't know which end to talk to. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
“That's how hospitals get you. You go in to visit and before you know it they got a camera stuck up your… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
When I was young I used to read about the decline of Western civilization, and I decided it was something I would… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The profoundly humorous writers are humorous because they are responsive to the hopeless, uncouth, concatenations of life. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“A relationship is likely to last way longer, if each partner convinces or has convinced themselves that they do not deserve their… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“While like most men, Sam prided himself on being equipped with a supernatural internal compass that kept him from ever being lost,… — clive cussler Copy Share Image
If there was sadness in this creative world of mine, it was a pleasant sadness. If there were problems, they were humorous… — Norman Rockwell Copy Share Image
Breast Feeding should not be attempted by fathers with hairy chests, since they can make the baby sneeze and give it wind. — Mike Harding Copy Share Image
The poor Americans are so busy defending the rights of Hindus in Pakistan, Moslems in India, Jews in Palestine, Koreans in Japan,… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
“The eccentric passion of Shankly was underlined for me by my England team-mate Roger Hunt's version of the classic tale of the… — Bobby Charlton Copy Share Image
One of the glories of doing the book So You Want to Be President? was the shifts in tone, where I was… — David Small Copy Share Image
“To exemplify, -a beautiful glossy nut, which, blessed with original strength, has outlived all the storms of autumn. Not a puncture, not… — Jane Austen Copy Share Image
You should not use your fireplace, because scientists now believe that, contrary to popular opinion, fireplaces actually remove heat from houses. Really,… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Where did you get that assault weapon?" "Assault weapon?" Zach turned his head to look at her. "Well, lookey there. You're cute… — Suzie Quint Copy Share Image
All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for business purposes. For example, if you… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Indeed, it may be laid down as a general principle, that the more extended the ancestry, the greater the amount of violence… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
