A God who cannot smile, could not have created this humorous universe. — Sri Aurobindo Copy Share Image
“Touch her, and I'll freeze your testicles off and put them in a jar. Understand?” — Julie Kagawa Copy Share Image
“Ish #1 "It's not your mama's macaroni and cheese if you used spaghetti noodles.” — Regina Griffin Copy Share Image
“Please put your penises away, gentlemen. Dinner is procured. By a woman.” — Kresley Cole Copy Share Image
Nevada has a very dynamic economy, with gambling being the number-one industry, followed closely by blood donorship. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Quebec from the boat looked like the ramparts where Hamlet's ghost might have walked. — Charlie Chaplin Copy Share Image
“She decided that if Lucas was gay then she was going to have to get a sex change operation. He would be… — Josephine Angelini Copy Share Image
“Did we really come all that way?" She asked. "Time flies when you're scared out of your mind." He answered.” — Nights Raven Copy Share Image
But scientists, who ought to know Assure us that it must be so. Oh, let us never, never doubt What nobody is… — Hilaire Belloc Copy Share Image
Jim Rosato was recently married, to a Greek nurse. Rosato was half Irish and half Italian, and there was a pool on… — Warren Ellis Copy Share Image
“Let me know if you're in any pain, we're going through your groin with a tiny tube up to your heart." Doctor… — Lori Lesko Copy Share Image
“Tanner: I think that I might kiss you to keep your lips busy with something other than insulting me. Ella: If you… — Melissa Lemon Copy Share Image
“My question was:How did I go from merely seeing the dirty French Santa in a bar to being in his hotel room… — Agusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology. Until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The surgeon general warned today that saliva causes stomach cancer. But apparently only when swallowed in small amounts over a long period… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
When you wake up one day and say, "You know what? I don't think I ever need to sleep or have sex… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
“I'm not helping any of you freaks!" she shouts. "I'm not the Witch of Wayland, you hear me? I'm sick of all… — J.A. Redmerski Copy Share Image
The people shall further be graded according to wealth, and—humorous touch this—the more obviously a man labor, the more stinting shall be… — Jamie O'Neill Copy Share Image
“He'd never asked for an exciting life. What he really liked, what he sought on every occasion, was boredom. The trouble was… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“The fact that the person who you are sleeping with is also sleeping with another person or other people does not necessarily… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Sherlock: They came out of EROC with $33 million dollars in small bills. They loaded their haul into an ambulance, American-made, in… — Elementary Copy Share Image
“She was a most wonderful woman for prowling about the house. How she got from story to story was a mystery beyond… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
I drew pictures for and about the soldiers because I knew what their life was like and understood their gripes. I wanted… — Bill Mauldin Copy Share Image
“Every week seems to bring another luxuriantly creamy envelope, the thickness of a letter-bomb, containing a complex invitation – a triumph of… — David Nicholls Copy Share Image
