“It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“The jukebox played some hillbilly tune; steel guitar and emotion-choked moaning...” — Philip K. Dick Copy Share Image
“You held me down and rammed me so hard I deep-throated you from the other end.” — Marita A. Hansen Copy Share Image
A clever, imaginative, humorous request can open closed doors and closed minds. — Percy Ross Copy Share Image
A dog is one of the remaining reasons why some people can be persuaded to go for a walk. — Orlando Aloysius Battista Copy Share Image
A German singer! I should as soon expect to get pleasure from the neighing of my horse. — Frederick The Great Copy Share Image
I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why (he wondered rhetorically) do people who have a position that's being attacked constantly state that they have a right to say… — Peter David Copy Share Image
Medical researchers have discovered a new disease that has no symptoms. It is impossible to detect, and there is no known cure.… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“That is not what I was saying, you crazy twit!" "Cut it out! You do not to play the I'm-so-dark-and twisty-I deserve-to-be-punished… — Heather Fleener Copy Share Image
If I see my films described as 'quirky' or, even worse, 'snarky' one more time, I'm going to probably seriously consider an… — Terry Zwigoff Copy Share Image
“One of the things I love about labeling myself as an author is that I can read books and call it "researching… — Mike Mankoff Copy Share Image
France in August when you can travel through the entire country without encountering a single pesky Frenchman or being bothered with anything… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I don't need new boots I got bluchers back down home. Eff the effing bluchers I'll buy you new adjectival effing elastic… — Peter Carey Copy Share Image
“Karma: I know I've seen this man someplace before. Artie (as McGuffey): Considering some of the places I frequent lady that's a… — Wild Wild West TV Copy Share Image
The problem ... is that we have run out of dinosaurs to form oil with. Scientists working for the Department of Energy… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I'm very physical. I'm extremely active, and I would love to do something a little more sexy and dangerous, a la Sophia… — Azita Ghanizada Copy Share Image
Harry is heavily into camping, and every year in the late fall, he makes us all go to Assateague, which is an… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
... I had a latent impression that there was something decidedly fine in Mr. Wopsle's elocution - not for old associations' sake,… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“I have a theory about pink pastry boxes. So much joy comes from those boxes. When someone walks into a room with… — Liza Palmer Copy Share Image
“I need you to get inside Wayne's head. I need someone who thinks a bit left field and in your own unpleasant… — Marian Keyes Copy Share Image
Exactly. She does not shine as a wife even in her own account of what occurred. I am not a whole-souled admirer… — Arthur Conan Doyle Copy Share Image
“Ryker, you ride with Orlando,” Ryker mocked in a snarky voice as he turned to the other man. He gestured toward the… — Rose Wynters Copy Share Image
