“You didn't happen to install Windows when you upgraded me, did you?” — Kelly McCullough Copy Share Image
“You can't oversleep if you don't make plans to wake up early.” — Elizabeth Jane Howard Copy Share Image
“You want to grab something here, Brycin?” he asked, bending over again. Um . . . yeah. Your ass.” — Stacey Marie Brown Copy Share Image
“Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around inebriated.” — John Alejandro King aka The Covert Comic Copy Share Image
“You know you're officially an adult when you finally understand WHY Miss Hannigan was drinking bath water.” — Christy Hall Copy Share Image
“Chances are that there are white people who brag about being the first to move out of a suburb that has been… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“I am a free spirit, who loves the company of most animals and some people!” — Captain Hank Bracker Copy Share Image
“Conjugation of the irregular verb “to design”: I create, You interfere, He gets in the way. We cooperate, You obstruct, They conspire.” — David K. Brown Copy Share Image
“Sharks to not eat Chinese people because they get hungry thirty minutes later".” — R. Alan Woods Copy Share Image
“Wise men don't feel companionless when they are not in the company of their egos.” — Delian Zahariev Copy Share Image
“Seriously, why aren't you on drugs?" Cath walked past her out of the room. "Are you a licensed psychiatrist? Or do you… — Rainbow Rowell Copy Share Image
“My embarrassment was complete. If I just had passed out, that would have been bad enough. But to make matters worse, Will… — Anne K. Riley Copy Share Image
“I’d like to THANK the genius who saw a bunch of cherries and thought…HEY!! If I dry out a bunch of those… — Comic Strip Mama Copy Share Image
“[...] for the philosophy of Square rendered him superior to all emotions, and he very calmly smoaked his pipe, as was his… — Henry Fielding Copy Share Image
“Retirement is lie sex. Men love to talk about it, but when the time finally comes, they're good for about fifteen minutes… — Paula Wall Copy Share Image
“...imagine you’re minding your own business, walking down the mall, looking for the perfect beard comb. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a midget… — Philip Rivera Copy Share Image
“I like to go to Starbucks and watch the intellectuals. I observe them and their intellectualness. They in turn observe me drinking… — Ryan Lilly Copy Share Image
“Mummy can we keep him?" Madeleine asked with the wide eyes of a burgeoning crush. "Darling, little boys make terrible pets," Mrs.… — Gitty Daneshvari Copy Share Image
“Science and discovery, especially in the field of non-abnormal pediatric mysteries, is built on the work of those who have been sneezed… — Spuds Crawford Copy Share Image
“Oh, dear God!” Janice bellowed and looked as though her neck was made of rubber as her head wobbled back and forth.… — Robin Alexander Copy Share Image
“You pay for that,” he told Ian as he hopped off the hood. “You pay for that, now.” Ian and Peter ignored… — Rose Wynters Copy Share Image
“Pretty?' I said, swivelling in the driver's seat to face him, 'you want to ask me out because I'm pretty?' 'Is there… — Jasper Fforde Copy Share Image
“So I’m reading some poem by Louise . . . something, I forget her last name, but it’s about Hades and the… — Julie James Copy Share Image
“Dear me, you're like the grand champion of awesome sauce! Your wit is so sharp it could slice through ice cream without… — lifeispositive.com Copy Share Image
“By the standards of a tourist strolling past looking for a quick lunch, the place was a dive. The sign on the… — Scott B. Pruden Copy Share Image
“...Do you need a hug?” Payton asked with a smile. Ryann chuckled as Payton walked around the kitchen cabinet and held open… — Robin Alexander Copy Share Image
“Some people stride toward a better future. Others have chauffeurs.” — Ljupka Cvetanova Copy Share Image
“A grayeyard is not a democracy, and yet death is the great democracy..” — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
“The closest I ever came to a near death experience was living in LA.” — Deirdra Baldwin Copy Share Image
![“[...] for the philosophy of Square rendered him superior to all emotions, and he very calmly smoaked his pipe, as was his custom in all broils, unless when he apprehended some danger of having it broke in his mouth.” quote by Henry Fielding](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/50e/henry-fielding-1358_humor_for-the-philosophy-of-square-rendered-hi_2553977.jpg)
