Damn these human beings; if I had invented them I would go hide my head in a bag. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. I believe that whenever a human being,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The symbol of the race ought to be a human being carrying an ax, for every human being has one concealed about… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The human being places sexual intercourse above all other joys, but leaves it out of his heaven. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Where are there are two desires in a man's heart he has no choice between the two but must obey the strongest,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Human beings seem to be a poor invention. If they are the noblest works of God where is the ignoblest? — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
You have noticed that the human being is a curiosity. In times past he has had (and worn out and flung away)… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The fear of lightning is one of the most distressing infirmities a human being can be afflicted with. It is mostly confined… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A human being has a natural desire to have more of a good thing than he needs. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There isn't anything so grotesque or so incredible that the average human being can't believe it. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
My heart goes out to anyone who is making his first appearance before an audience of human beings. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If I had been helping the Almighty when he created man, I would have had him begin at the other end, and… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Does the human being reason? No; he thinks, muses, reflects, but does not reason...that is, in the two things which are the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The laws of Nature, that is to say the laws of God, plainly made every human being a law unto himself, we… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Begin with the determination to succeed and the work is half done already. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
