“I had one of those ideas I do sometimes get, though admittedly a chump of the premier class.” — P.G. Wodehouse Copy Share Image
If you walk into my wardrobe, it's kind of hilarious. It's a sea of black. — Tabatha Coffey Copy Share Image
“He forced himself forward trying to seem innocent without acting like someone who was guilty who was trying to act innocent.” — James Dashner Copy Share Image
I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying 'flee at once - all is discovered.' They all left town… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“(Matty) 'I'm going to a corn maze.' (Elliot) 'Oh, bitch. You've lost your ever-loving mind.” — Leta Blake Copy Share Image
“Let's pray that the human race never escapes Earth to spread its iniquity elsewhere.” — C.S. Lewis Copy Share Image
“I had a fair idea how it felt to get spanked with a large flat surface, and my rump clenched in sympathy.” — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired. — Milton Berle Copy Share Image
I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday and 4% Friday. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Where's your car? Miles asks, glancing at him as he slams his door shut and slings his backpack over his shoulder. "And… — Alyson Noel Copy Share Image
Do you ever look through old pictures and wonder, Where the hell did that shirt go? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“It's brain," I said; "pure brain! What do you do to get like that, Jeeves? I believe you must eat a lot… — P.G. Wodehouse Copy Share Image
Acting-wise, I haven't done a lot of comedy, so I would love to work with Jane Lynch. I think she's hilarious. — David Sutcliffe Copy Share Image
My parents find me hilarious. They don't pull me up for anything because I'm a good daughter. I stay at home, don't… — Sonam Kapoor Copy Share Image
“somewhere between hello and I want this job, he'd lost all business sense and hired the pretty lady just because she wanted… — Dolores Wilson Copy Share Image
“They're not going to arrest you,' Skulduggery said as they walked through the door. 'They might glare at you and say angry… — Derek Landy Copy Share Image
My whole family is obsessed by brandy butter. And bread sauce. Then, of course, there will be a lot of wind in… — Miranda Hart Copy Share Image
I'm not anorexic. I'm from Texas. Are there people from Texas that are anorexic? I've never heard of one. And that includes… — Jessica Simpson Copy Share Image
'South Park' is so hilarious... I remember when it first came out: that show changed television forever. — Blake Anderson Copy Share Image
“Elizabeth smiled warmly. "For you I will allow it, Mr. Trask. How is your wife, sir? Still putting up with you, or… — Sharon Lathan Copy Share Image
“He even dressed up for you. He only has one stain on his t-shirt.- Rylie Cruz” — Rose Pressey Copy Share Image
If anybody is a master at improvisation, it would be Ken Jeong. He is hilarious. — Anneliese van der Pol Copy Share Image
