“her hips were having an argument with the upper half of her body as to who was to get more eye contact” — J.S. Mason Copy Share Image
Pretty sad. Pretty lonely. But that's how I prefer it? I quess? I guess. It's a good guess. It's the best quess… — Dan Harmon Copy Share Image
“No, you don’t get to touch yourself in my car.” “Why not?” It wasn’t a whine, it wasn’t. My voice was too… — Cari Z Copy Share Image
“We love being mentally strong, but we hate situations that allow us to put our mental strength to good use.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“You need to be greedy or ignorant to truly want to live forever.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“You are more likely to find three TVs inside a randomly selected house than you are to find a single book that… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I happen to think singing is hilarious, especially when it pops out at the wrong time. — Ed Helms Copy Share Image
Super Troopers is hilarious. Everybody always thought we somehow - we did Reno way, way before any of us had seen Super… — Thomas Lennon Copy Share Image
“Sionnach smiled in the way of the falsely modest and added, "Forgive me for not standing, but I can't find the energy… — Melissa Marr Copy Share Image
“Laboratory scientists use formaldehyde as a disinfectant or preservative. They don't fucking drink it.” — Rory Freedman Copy Share Image
People say women shouldn't have long hair over a certain age, but I've never done what everyone says. — Jane Seymour Copy Share Image
“How could I not fall in love with him," she asked. And on the tail end of her words, her bedroom door… — Quinn Loftis Copy Share Image
If women were in charge of all the world's nations, there would be sincerely believe this - no military conflicts, and when… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I am never honored. My career is hilarious to me. I am either under the radar or over the radar. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Working with Dudley Moore was so hilarious. I don't know how we got anything done because everybody was laughing so hard, but… — Liza Minnelli Copy Share Image
“Just remember: when your nerd talks to someone about "man tar", it has nothing to do with the stickiness on your sheets.” — Piper Vaughn Xara X Xanakas Copy Share Image
“Looking but not seeing is the hearing but not understanding of the eye.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Men are simpler than you imagine my sweet child. But what goes on in the twisted, tortuous minds of women would baffle… — Daphne du Maurier Copy Share Image
