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Hilarious Quote by Rory Freedman

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““Laboratory scientists use formaldehyde as a disinfectant or preservative. They don't fucking drink it.””

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More by Rory Freedman

“Whenever you see the words "fat free" or "low-fat," think of the words "chemical shit storm.”

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“Now that you're a Skinny Bitch, don't turn into a skinny bitch. We conceived of the title, Skinny Bitch, to get attention and sell…

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“You should not need anything to wake up. If you can't wake up without it, it's because you are either addicted to caffeine, sleep…

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“So your junk food has a shelf life of twenty-two years and will probably outlive your fat, sorry ass.”

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“Every time you consume factory-farmed chicken, beef, veal, pork, eggs, or dairy, you are eating antibiotics, pesticides, steroids, and hormones.”

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“Milk = fat. Butter = fat. Cheese = fat. People who think these products can be low fat or fat free = fucking morons.”

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“Brace yourselves, girls: Soda is liquid Satan. It is the devil. It is garbage. There is nothing in soda that should be put into…

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“Never feel like or say you are "giving up" your favorite foods. Those words have a negative connotation, like you are sacrificing something. You're…

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“And when all feels hopeless, remember that you are in charge of what goes into your body, you don't answer to anyone, and you…

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“Perhaps you have a lumpy ass because you are perserving your fat cells with diet soda”

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Explore all 11 Rory Freedman quotes

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There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.

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Motown, Motown, that's my era. Those are my people.

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The cast of 'Parks & Rec' is just a group of unbelievably nice, humble, down to earth, hilarious friends.

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“No more tubs for me." I jumped off the bed and pulled on a pair of Pack sweats. "They make me lose all sense."…

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