Wine, women and song have been replaced by prune juice, a heating pad and the Gong Show. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
The place was so British, I wouldn't have been surprised if the mice wore monocles. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
It sure has been a pleasure for us to broadcast for the sailors and soldiers; besides, its part of the National Defence… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells 'Fore!' the guy… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn't understand us at all. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
I need money. I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you. In Hollywood the weatherman gets a shooting schedule from all the… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
Go figure a crazy, mixed-up country where ballet outsells boxing. I wouldn't be surprised if their wrestling was on the level. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
