“...Come on let’s see the degree.” Katherine unrolled her scroll displaying a long declaration in Latin affixed with a red seal proclaiming… — E.A. Bucchianeri Copy Share Image
Take hold of this (charm) that subjects to immortality (life), may thy life unto old age not be cut off! I bring… — Atharva Veda Copy Share Image
I'm in a weird position, because I like rainbows, but I'm not gay. So whenever I go out wearing a rainbow shirt,… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
In preschool, I would plan out my show-and-tell every week to be funny and exciting. Then in first grade I wrote a… — Maxim Knight Copy Share Image
Fifteen referees. I want fifteen referees to be at this fight because there ain't no one man who can keep up with… — Muhammad Ali Copy Share Image
“What’s that around your neck?” asked Emily. “It’s a golden star.” Said Reed. “What did you get it for?” “Chemistry class.” “What’s… — Rumi Antoinette Copy Share Image
“A Skalan trader tried to tell me the streets of his cities were paved with gold," Alec went on. "I didn't believe… — Lynn Flewelling Copy Share Image
“Adam's hot Pheebs! Admit it girl. That body is like some kind of happy experiment. It's like he was manufactured in a… — Daniel Waters Copy Share Image
“These are Plenimaran marines, and there's not much most of them aren't capable of, if you take my meaning." "I don't think… — Lynn Flewelling Copy Share Image
We're [parents]) always bluffing, pretending we know best, when most of the time we're just praying we won't screw up too badly. — Jodi Picoult Copy Share Image
“Forgive me, madam," he said lightly, amused, "but waiting to make love to you again is straining my nerves." She scoffed but… — Adele Ashworth Copy Share Image
I have this weird obsession with kids and old people falling. Like, funny falls. It is awful, but it's the thing that… — Malin Akerman Copy Share Image
It's funny, I was talking to somebody who writes for a cop show, and he was saying how they aren't allowed to… — Hannah Simone Copy Share Image
“The bartender put a notepad and a pencil before me. Breathing hard, the pencil trembling, I wrote: Dear Sinclair Lewis: You were… — John Fante Copy Share Image
*Going down my facebook wall* …is in a relationship … went from single to in a relationship. … is in a relationship… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
As a comedian and talk show host, Jon Stewart has been pretty funny. But as a pundit and player in our politics,… — Jamelle Bouie Copy Share Image
What was wrong with train toilet doors that just locked, instead of this multiple choice system? If anything goes wrong, you'll be… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
Bought a pair of boots the other day, and they was some silicone gel in there. Big red letters said, "Do not… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
Facebook Teaches us that doctors are of no use, you just have to like and share a picture to save people's life..! — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
Not saying I want to be behind the wheel but I swear some people need to be hit by cars might knock… — Serenity C Copy Share Image
Dear girls, It does not mean you're ugly if no one courting you, maybe because you just super beauty that's why boys… — Innah Delos Angeles Copy Share Image
Saddam Hussein's soldiers and his great forces gave the Americans a lesson which will not be forgotten by history. Truly. — Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf Copy Share Image
I don't know what's wrong with my television set. I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station.… — Bruce Baum Copy Share Image
At the beginning of 'Will and Grace', I played Jack as the funny next-door-neighbor type, as we've seen in the past. And… — Sean Hayes Copy Share Image
I just always remember there being an ability to amuse schoolmates. Not in a kind of 'dance-around-at-the-front-of-the-room-with-his-trousers-off' way, but probably with a… — Stephen Merchant Copy Share Image
This may sound funny, but as much as the 'Today' show matured me, it also was something of a cocoon. I'd been… — Jane Pauley Copy Share Image
My father was one-eighth Cherokee indian and my mother was quarter-blood Cherokee. I never got far enough in arithmetic to figure out… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Importance of thumb- Child use it4sucking. Illiterate people use it4sign, Winners4victory & my FANS use it4reading my sms Oh U too? Crazy… — Sadie Copy Share Image
You should never be mean to other girls. I don't care what grade you're in. Be nice to people until you're my… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
My grandmother raised me. She was a real no-nonsense but very funny lady. I drove tractors, made hay, milked cows, fed the… — Carol Bartz Copy Share Image
“Parliament will also struggle with Shakespeare. Rappers stutter too when they flirt. The palms of poised politicians sweat. Police officers fart. Princesses… — Karl Kristian Flores Copy Share Image
“Apollo watched me closely, intently. “No.” My eyes narrowed. “No to what?” “I’m not sending you after them. Not yet,” he said,… — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
There was a knock on our dressing-room door. Our manager shouted, 'Keith! Ron! The Police are here!' Oh, man, we panicked, flushed… — Keith Richards Copy Share Image
My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
“Bug spray.” Mosquitoes never bother me, but apparently they eat Tucker alive if he forgets bug spray. So I wear it for… — Cynthia Hand Copy Share Image
When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I… — Yogi Berra Copy Share Image
That awarked moement when you see your class mate at the store, and you both act like you dont even know each… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“There's no time to waste," Kai said. He did a backflip off the tower and ran off. "What is it with that… — Greg Farshtey Copy Share Image
“I am glad to have you march under my banner, glad of your loyalty, grateful for you honour.' His gaze goes to… — Holly Black Copy Share Image
I want a friend named Gertrude so I can walk into the supermarket with her and yell, Yo Gert, when we are… — Rudy Espinoza Copy Share Image
![“We're [parents]) always bluffing, pretending we know best, when most of the time we're just praying we won't screw up too badly.” quote by Jodi Picoult](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bd9/jodi-picoult-45_funny_we-re-parents-always-bluffing-pretending_1685839.jpg)
