I couldn't really see the point of having lunch unless it started at 1:00 and ended a week later in Monte Carlo. — Arthur Smith Food Copy Share Image
It was Julie Burchill who decreed that, beyond a certain age, a man should not be seen in a leather jacket. — Arthur Smith Age Copy Share Image
I'm an armchair kind of guy, especially when it's raining, which it always is and always will be. — Arthur Smith Copy Share Image
An uninspiring canvas becomes a glamorous masterpiece when it is reattributed to a better-known artist. — Arthur Smith Art Copy Share Image
Someone once described me as the Zelig of comedy, and I think I know what he means. — Arthur Smith Comedy Copy Share Image
I like doing things I haven't learnt about yet. I've always been interested in art, and I love doing art. — Arthur Smith Art Copy Share Image
The real change that paintings undergo is in the perceptions of the viewer. — Arthur Smith Artist Copy Share Image
The book may be garbage, but if it weighs in at a kilo or more, I stand before its author in awe. — Arthur Smith Author Copy Share Image
I find it hilarious that there are academics who try to analyse chemical changes in the brains of students while exposing them… — Arthur Smith Brain Copy Share Image
I've been trekking the hills and lanes of the British countryside for nearly four decades now and I've come to associate my… — Arthur Smith Copy Share Image
When synchronised swimming first appeared on TV, we laughed very heartily, and I, for one, applauded the decision to introduce humour into… — Arthur Smith Copy Share Image
Don Quixote's 'Delusions' is an excellent read - far better than my own forthcoming travel book, 'Walking Backwards Across Tuscany.' — Arthur Smith Copy Share Image
Listening to Chris Moyles on Radio 1 is the most miserable thing any human being can do, but attending awards ceremonies isn't… — Arthur Smith Copy Share Image
The Romantic poets were the prototype ramblers, and I've often found myself following in their footsteps - although perhaps not all of… — Arthur Smith Copy Share Image
The best way to prepare for a night out with a Shakespearean tragedy is to do a bit of reading up in… — Arthur Smith Copy Share Image
My sister-in-law believes that few narratives are so tightly constructed that you can't skip boring bits and still keep abreast of what's… — Arthur Smith Copy Share Image
Global warming, the ongoing destruction of the planet, Third World debt, the uselessness of the railways, the takeover by the corporations, the… — Arthur Smith Copy Share Image
When I was eight or nine, I wrote a new version of 'Peter Pan' for the school play. They didn't use it… — Arthur Smith Copy Share Image
If you want to be happy for a short time, get drunk; happy for a long time, fall in love; happy forever,… — Arthur Smith Drunk Copy Share Image
About every four years, someone says to me, 'I've got a friend who looks exactly like you.' What can you say to… — Arthur Smith Copy Share Image
Acting in a stage play is like working the evening shift in an office. — Arthur Smith Acting Copy Share Image
Sometimes it's good to do something that you've never done before, so yesterday, I went out to buy Elton John's new album. — Arthur Smith Album Copy Share Image
Reading the play at home, however fulfilling, can never be the vivacious experience that Shakespeare intended. — Arthur Smith Experience Copy Share Image
Travel books are, by and large, boring. They lodge uncomfortably between fact, fiction and autobiography. — Arthur Smith Autobiography Copy Share Image
Theatricals can be irritating, but will provide a better night out than mobile phone salespeople. — Arthur Smith Copy Share Image
The moon puts on an elegant show, different every time in shape, colour and nuance. — Arthur Smith Colour Copy Share Image
Obviously I am not bothered about men's fashion - is anyone, apart from Jonathan Ross? — Arthur Smith Copy Share Image
The outfits come and go but there is a constant that I like about the catwalk model: the snotty expression. — Arthur Smith Catwalk Copy Share Image
The Bible has no doubt had much influence in its time, but it provides very few laughs. None, in fact. — Arthur Smith Bible Copy Share Image
I abhor nothing more than bumping into someone I know on the Tube. — Arthur Smith Abhor Copy Share Image
If you want to write something of length, however modern and radical, you must live the life of an elderly gentleman of… — Arthur Smith Elderly Copy Share Image
It's worth turning up to an awards gig if you know you've won one but, since you never do know, it's not… — Arthur Smith Copy Share Image
It is London fashion week, and once again I haven't been invited to any shows. This is upsetting given my well-known love… — Arthur Smith Copy Share Image
