[Arnold Schwarzenegger] is funny. Some great one-liners, some great banter between him and the contestants [on "The Apprentice" ]. And he's good! — Boy George Copy Share Image
Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
I went to school, majored in theatre, and said 'Mom, I have to choose my own destiny. I want to be an… — Arsenio Hall Copy Share Image
Every photograph is the photographer's opinion about something. It's how they feel about something: what they think is horrible, tragic, funny. — Mary Ellen Mark Copy Share Image
A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? "I was ironing, and the phone rang!" "What about the other… — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
I wanted to make sure that my act was family friendly for tonight, but I don't have babies. So I thought that… — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
Even though I've been married for eight years, I do separate my food in the refrigerator from my wife's. I put labels… — Will Ferrell Copy Share Image
Never mock fat people; their lifeis nothing less than a punishment. How are they livingin this condition? Only their God knows better! — Mohd Aariff Khan Copy Share Image
If the sayings of the saints is accepted that this world is only a Maya/an illusion and one can attain salvation only… — Mak_786 Copy Share Image
Here’s how bizarre the war is that we’re in Iraq, and we should have known this right from the get-go: When we… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
It's funny what actors take issue with. Some won't do parts where animals are in jeopardy; some won't ever play anyone remotely… — Rob Lowe Copy Share Image
The best criticism is the sort that tells you what you already know but had been reluctant to accuse yourself of. — J. D. McClatchy Copy Share Image
I don't have a past. I have a continuous present. The past is part of the present, just as the future is.… — George Balanchine Copy Share Image
I'm not a big prank guy, because I don't like them done to me. I've been on movies sets where one guys… — Terry Crews Copy Share Image
Most of you are familiar with the virtues of a programmer. There are three, of course: laziness, impatience, and hubris. — Larry Wall Copy Share Image
“What are you doing now, you lazy drunken obscene unsayable son of an unnameable unmarried gipsy obscenity? What are you doing?” — Ernest Hemingway Copy Share Image
There are many comics around who don't really have a feel for comedy. They can say outrageous things, have clever thoughts, and… — Ronnie Corbett Copy Share Image
It's just funny because I think a long time back I was not a fan favorite at all, and now people have… — Ben Askren Copy Share Image
Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn't offend somebody it's probably not a joke. It's probably an… — Jeff Ross Copy Share Image
One night I went to this comedy club and paid a hard-earned $5 to get in, and every comic that came up… — Eddie Griffin Copy Share Image
“Author Dating Rule #3: Edit your online dating profile. Pervs are the million pennies lying in a vat of ten nickels.” — C.L. Matthews Copy Share Image
What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hold… — Asheya Copy Share Image
I never actually got around to taping conversations with my guests, but there are a lot of things you can learn from… — Pierre Trudeau Copy Share Image
I have a roommate, and I signed a year lease. I screwed up! That's like I wrote a joke that didn't work,… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
For the writer, there is nothing quite like having someone say that he or she understands, that you have reached them and… — Virginia Hamilton Copy Share Image
What readers ask nowadays in a book is that it should improve, instruct, and elevate. This book wouldn't elevate a cow. — Jerome K. Jerome Copy Share Image
Republicans can be a funny bunch. They're against affirmative action, but they always seem to be able to find people of color… — John Ridley Copy Share Image
“In theory I rather admire the Spaniards for not sharing our Northern time-neurosis; but unfortunately I share it myself.” — George Orwell Copy Share Image
Infancy conforms to nobody: all conform to it, so that one babe commonly makes four or five out of the adults who… — Ralph Waldo Emerson Copy Share Image
I've always found it funny when people call 'Romeo and Juliet' 'the greatest love story ever told' because - man - it… — Ryan North Copy Share Image
“Funyuns make you fart," Caspian said, and I exploded in laughter. "What's so funny?" Ben asked. I tried to stop laughing, but… — Jessica Verday Copy Share Image
It's so funny because a lot of times we'll have these discussions as writers, and you feel like you're having a discussion… — Jason Katims Copy Share Image
Many years ago a very wise man named Bernard Baruch took me aside and put his arm around my shoulder. "Harpo my… — Harpo Marx Copy Share Image
People ask me all the time, ALL the time, they say the same exact thing. They say, 'Bo, you're an artist... how… — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
Of course I look both ways when crossing a one way street. You never know what kind of idiot is behind the… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
“The whole point of straws, I had thought, was that you did not have to set down the slice of pizza to… — Nicholson Baker Copy Share Image
When a baseball player makes an error, it goes into the record and is published. How many of us could stand this… — Sydney J. Harris Copy Share Image
Disney Resort and World and Compound, a place where your dreams really do come true, if you dream about having people wearing… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“The policemen agreed they were living with a most peculiar fellow. One moment he was reading classical literature in the original French… — Ben MacIntyre Copy Share Image
Mitt Romney had a horse competing in the Olympics. He didn't win. But next year, he'll be competing in 'Dancing with the… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
![“[Arnold Schwarzenegger] is funny. Some great one-liners, some great banter between him and the contestants [on "The Apprentice" ]. And he's good!” quote by Boy George](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/883/boy-george-1385_apprentice_arnold-schwarzenegger-is-funny-some-grea_2202131.png)
