Adam Rex

“The Boov frowned. 'Now you sound like sheep.”

— Adam Rex

As far as pets go, a cat is a nice on to have.

— Adam Rex

“Aw, hewwo, widdle Chihuahua,” she said. “Hewwo.”

— Adam Rex

Magic likes a good tragedy, too.

— Adam Rex

“B-L-OOD, keep it on the inside, G!”

— Adam Rex

There's a little bit of magic in every box!

— Adam Rex

“Can I come into the out now? - Jlo”

— Adam Rex

You can do terrible things when you don't know who you are...

— Adam Rex

“I am rubber but you are blue. Whatevers you are saying bounces off of me and I do not remember the rest.”

— Adam Rex

What part of Canada are you from, honey?" "THE LEFT PART," said Jay.

— Adam Rex

“...a row of tables manned by seated, serious women. Each woman looked like she could be someone's least-favourite aunt.”

— Adam Rex

“Sneaky would be a lime-green Volkswagen. Nobody would suspect the assassins in the lime-green Volkswagen.”

— Adam Rex

“You heard my name was Chief Shouting Bear," he said. "It doesn't matter. You can call me whatever you want, Stupidlegs.”

— Adam Rex

I was the funny, outgoing kid who didn't understand how he could keep getting mistaken for a nerd nobody liked.

— Adam Rex

“So why the pelican? Said Haskoll. The thief was giving Haskoll a look that said, Man, why NOT the pelican? ”

— Adam Rex

“Look," I said halfheartedly. "Another one of those tumbleweeds made out of old hair weaves." "Tumbleweave," said J.Lo.”

— Adam Rex

After we got our first family car with a tape deck, my dad acquired exactly three cassette tapes: A 'Best of ABBA,'…

— Adam Rex

“In lieu of Tasers, you'll have to hit me. Hard as you can. Then maybe some kind of fight-or-flight response will kick…

— Adam Rex

“My partner and I are going to be run over by a rabbit driving a Citroën” just isn’t the sort of thing…

— Adam Rex

The original release of 'Star Wars' was literally the first movie I remember seeing in a theater. Four years old was probably…

— Adam Rex

In the future, I'd like to continue being honest with myself and admit when I'd be better off asking someone else to…

— Adam Rex

Then it suddenly and theatrically began to clean itself in the way cats do when they want you to know what a…

— Adam Rex

“Sorry I'm late," Ms. Egami said to the class. She dropped her papers, which scattered in that special way papers do when…

— Adam Rex

We found the bathrooms, which were labeled 'Aliens' and 'Femaliens.' 'Finally,' I said to J.Lo. 'Here's a bathroom you're allowed to use.

— Adam Rex

“I scattered J.Lo's tools around the car, searching for some kind of rope, or something that could be used like a rope.…

— Adam Rex

“Told you," said Mick. "Things comin' together. We set off lookin' for the Utz kids an' find a tree full o' everybody.…

— Adam Rex

“For you time-capsule types, MoPo was something called a convenience store, as in, 'The soda is conveniently located right next to the…

— Adam Rex

Sejal had not thought of her home, or of India as a whole, as cool. She was dimly aware, however, of a…

— Adam Rex

We could have made it to the Arizona border in a few more hours if we hadn't been distracting each other with…

— Adam Rex

Vampirism is like celebrity now. Vampires are these eternally young, thin, sexy apparitions of perpetual nightlife and absolutely nothing like their folkloric…

— Adam Rex

“Archimedes was a mathematician," blurted Ethan from the back of the room. "And he was Greek. And he invented things." Ethan was…

— Adam Rex

YOU have no room to laugh, that's all. I'm not doing any worse with Boovish than you did with English.' Get off…

— Adam Rex

“Woah,' I said, blocking the doorway. 'You can't come in here. This is the girls' room.' Even as it came out of…

— Adam Rex

“Captain Smek himself appeared on television for an official speech to humankind. [...] 'Noble Savages of Earth,' he said. 'Long time we…

— Adam Rex

“When I was a little girl,' I said, sitting down, 'the wallpaper in my room had pictures of Noah's story.' [...] You…

— Adam Rex

“Ohh,' said the girl with a sad tilt of her head. It was a response Sejal would hear a lot in the…

— Adam Rex

“Polly Esther Doe was born at 8:03 a.m. on August 14.”

— Adam Rex

“Regarding stickyfish teams, I favor the Bigfield Fighting Koobish.”

— Adam Rex

“I didn’t feel up to arguing about it, but I was pretty sure if you loved everything you didn’t really love anything.”

— Adam Rex

For the gentle werelibrarian, who's strictly vegetarian, there's nothing like Tofillager the MEATLESS TOFU VILLAGER

— Adam Rex