What's very funny is when you see amateurs filming something, they do some things no professionals would dare to do. They instinctively… — William Klein Copy Share Image
I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“I'm familiar with the myth, I'm merely surprised that a female would be familiar with the classics." "You must have a very… — Judith McNaught Copy Share Image
“When a woman with an iron fist tells you to get out there and clean spit off the door, you do it.… — Markus Zusak Copy Share Image
Interesting survey in the current Journal of Abnormal Psychology: New York City has a higher percentage of people you shouldn't make any… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Andy was a character, and the two of us did have some things in common. We appreciated funny things, didn't like serious… — Paul Morrissey Copy Share Image
“The truth is . . . Well, the truth is the truth, and thus worth telling, but sometimes truths are so complicated… — Merrie Haskell Copy Share Image
You're looking good today Bret. Very hot... hotter than Jemaine. You have a refined bone structure, while Jemaine's facial features are too… — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
I love 'Saturday Night Live,' and it's such a funny show. I don't know if I'm funny enough to be on it… — Lindsey Vonn Copy Share Image
Officials at the London Olympics will be conducting 5,000 tests for steroids. Or as Lance Armstrong calls that, 'a Monday.' — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
My career only took off because of one football game. I thought it was funny. 'Playboy' called and offered me a cover… — Pamela Anderson Copy Share Image
Every McDonald's commercial ends the same way: Prices and participation may vary. I wanna open a McDonald's and not participate in anything.… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
If the wind is blowing like stink and everything is working right, a twelve-meter sailboat can go eleven and a half or… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Apparently some don't realize that you can see them through glass. Therefore... Stop picking your nose while driving! — ZHAT Copy Share Image
I have to stop crying when I watch "The View". It's not because of the topics at hand, I just feel sorry… — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: in life, no one… — Taylor Brady Copy Share Image
I think that 'Full House' is just a feel-good show. It's not meant to be anything more than just a little silly,… — Lori Loughlin Copy Share Image
In college, I learned that my favorite parts were the sad clown parts. Those are the ones I love because you get… — Dan Fogler Copy Share Image
I think it's important to find humor anywhere you can. In real life, with the darkest, scariest, most intense moments, if you… — Katie Lowes Copy Share Image
“My lord, the queen would speak with you, and presently. HAMLET Do you see yonder cloud that's almost in shape of a… — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
There are two types of wine essentially, and everybody knows this. There's the one where you drink it and go, "Mmmm, well… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Streets crowded with people strolling, or sitting at outdoor cafes. And always, talking, gesturing, singing, laughing. I liked Rome immediately.Everybody was a… — Kirk Douglas Copy Share Image
“My mother raised her eyebrow, and murmured, “And to think I was always worried that you didn’t have any friends. I suppose… — Patricia Briggs Copy Share Image
Looked Back And Saw 90 People Have Hearted it! Thank You So Much For Everyone That Is Reading it(: I'm Working On… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I decided I'd try my hand as a stand-up comedian, as I loved making people laugh, and appeared at the Latitude Festival,… — Daniel Rigby Copy Share Image
You know what's funny? There's times when you catch a ball and really didn't even see that ball. You're like, 'That couldn't… — Calvin Johnson Copy Share Image
I wanted to do a show about a character that was an innocent, and so I focused on a sea sponge because… — Stephen Hillenburg Copy Share Image
I know quickly whether a guy is boyfriend material. If I can have a good time doing absolutely nothing with him, then… — Alyson Hannigan Copy Share Image
Ghetto word of the Day - Disappointment. My Parole officer said if I miss disappointment they gone send me back to Jail. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
At the end of the day I'm writing comedy. If you get too realistic as a comedy writer with your disasters, it… — Simon Rich Copy Share Image
Poetry Competition asked For A 2-Line Rhyme With d Most Romantic 1st Line & the Least Romantic 2nd Line There's d Winning… — Sadie Copy Share Image
It's funny - there's nothing that stops you laughing like the sight of other people laughing about something else. — Michael Frayn Copy Share Image
Everything is so funny in the movie. The funniest thing about the movie is the transformations they were able to make with… — Joe Viterelli Copy Share Image
“Halt," said Horace, "I've been thinking..." Halt and Will exchanged an amused glance. "Always a dangerous pastime," they chorused. For many years,… — John Flanagan Copy Share Image
I broke up with poverty... and the last thing that fool said was...you will never find someone like me...Amen..who cares — Jezreel Copy Share Image
When I was a kid, there was no distinction between a movie about old people or young people. It was either funny… — Joseph Bologna Copy Share Image
If guns dont kill people, but people kill people, then doesnt that mean that toasters dont toast toast, but instead toast toasts… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I think anyone who has, you know, is in any sort of artistic pursuit, kind of goes up and down with the… — Will Ferrell Copy Share Image
Everybody in New York, including police horses, dresses fashionably, and whenever I'm there, even in my sharpest funeral-quality suit with no visible… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“The Brit's face shares a heritage with a junkyard butt-sniffing mutt. It's a hard-earned moonshine mug, dotted with a hairy mole that… — Brett Tate Copy Share Image
