“Some people drip wax on themselves like a human chianti bottle to see if they feel anything….but getting a wicker basket to… — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
For me personally, being a comedian is having funny ideas and saying them: it's not just saying them. I need the complete… — Frank Skinner Copy Share Image
It's so funny how it's impossible for an American actor to play an English part or an Australian part. But by all… — Boyd Holbrook Copy Share Image
Some people are funny, and some people are not funny. Many people who are not funny can make a living at it.… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
There is no either / or between being competitive and collaborative. You have to be both and decide which in each situation. — Cathie Black Copy Share Image
I will probably have sex with Eminem after the show is over. Probably, I dont see why I wouldnt. Im fair game,… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
To a child, 'The Little Prince' is the story of a boy who falls from the sky, meets lots of funny people… — Maria Konnikova Copy Share Image
My dad was a very funny man - he's the one who taught me life would be awfully hard without humor! I'm… — Joan Cusack Copy Share Image
One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all the evil that was going on, he decided to send an… — Ana Copy Share Image
I got pregnant at 40 by surprise. It's funny, because when we found out we were pregnant, I said, 'Okay, let's experience… — Julianna Margulies Copy Share Image
When I was coming out of depression, I made one random video. It wasn't funny or anything, but just the idea that… — Lilly Singh Copy Share Image
What's the difference between the IQ of a stupid guy and one of a mosquito? About 5 points. How do you even… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you describe your friend and you show a picture of your friend and the person your showing it to is like… — Candie Copy Share Image
If it's funny or it's good, then yeah, I'll do it. Whether it's big-screen or whatever wouldn't be the deciding factor for… — Matt Berry Copy Share Image
Although it was constructed in 1536, the New York subway system boasts an annual maintenance budget of nearly $8, currently stolen, and… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
'Flying In A Blue Dream' was quite automatic. I was working on another song, and I took a break and picked up… — Joe Satriani Copy Share Image
Let The Rock understand this, he beats your ass in cage match last week and now your the number 1 contender? Well… — Dwayne Johnson Copy Share Image
I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' What you… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It was funny, a lot of people who rejected me as a player, later said, 'Oh, we did it to help you.'… — Cafu Copy Share Image
Bahu ke 1-2 afair sunkar PATI ne jaan de di 3-4 afair sunkar SASUR ne jaan de di. Lekin SAAS chup rahi… — Sadie Copy Share Image
“It's empty." Duane swore harsh enough to make a sailor blush, calling into question not only the suspect's parentage, but that somehow… — Andrew Grey Copy Share Image
A funny thing happens when you go to another country or invest in a company from another country. Suddenly everyone in that… — Michael Seibel Copy Share Image
“Sam, just accept it. There is nothing funnier than penises randomly inserted in wildly uncalled for places in the sport of hilarious… — Jordan Krumbine Copy Share Image
One of the difficulties with all our institutions is the fact that we've emphasized the reward instead of the service. — Harry S. Truman Copy Share Image
On a crowded bus in Israel, a mother was speaking to her son in Yiddish. An Israeli woman reprimanded her. "You should… — Kirk Douglas Copy Share Image
“Attending a funeral would leave the average person insane, if they truly believed that sooner or later they are also going to… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Gus leaned back in his chair, appearing satisfied. "Good," he said. "Cause Maggie's all the nightmare I can take." I smiled. "Gus,… — Jessica Shirvington Copy Share Image
That's the beauty of our show. Comedy or politics. We're sort of a mix. A space age polymer of both. A synthetic… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
“... there was one new metallic monstrosity stacked in one corner that she hadn’t seen the last time she was a visitor… — E.A. Bucchianeri Copy Share Image
Beer commercials usually show big men, manly men, doing manly things: "You've just killed a small animal. It's time for a light… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
It's funny because all through the '80s I didn't do TV and movies very much. I prided myself that I was making… — Charles Kimbrough Copy Share Image
“Oh, so there were angels and demons, but no vampires? No mysterious, super-hot bloodsuckers who would love you forever? Now that was… — Alycia Linwood Copy Share Image
I have an idea that the phrase weaker sex was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to… — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
“Are you mad that he's here?" Marie whispered in my ear. I shook my head while I prepared two vodka tonics. "Well,… — Tina Reber Copy Share Image
People always ask me, Do you ever think you'll wake up one morning and not be funny? That thought would never occur… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
What?" she asked again. He pointed ahead of them. "See that?" "What, the snow?" "Beyond that." "More snow?" "Stop looking at the… — Derek Landy Copy Share Image
Baldwin often times stumbles over the truth, but he always picks himself up and hurries on as if nothing had happened. — Winston Churchill Copy Share Image
I love the sad songs with their maudlin, self-deprecating, almost funny lyrics. As an Englishman, they make a lot of sense. — Teddy Thompson Copy Share Image
I show them the funny part, the silly part, the laughing part, the crazy part and then the really deep, deep part… — Richard Simmons Copy Share Image
Dora: What was your favorite part? You: My favorite part was - Dora: I liked that part too! You: DON'T INTERRUPT ME,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
